Saturday, October 20, 2007

See-Through Tadpoles

See-Through Frog
See-Through Politician
When Mr. McDonald's refuses to shake hands with Mr. Red Bull,
you know it must be time for another episode of Family Feud.
Model Refuses to Leave Runway,
Claims Squatter's Rights
"Do you hear me, Iowa? I am the candidate of
Strengthiness, Truthiness, and Changeiness!"
Spontaneous Papal Combustion
Ursologists agree: giant pandas wrote the book on relaxation.
Like most mothers, Melissa Fyfe puts the welfare of
her dependents above her own.
"I just got a call from Ayn Rand on my cell phone. She says
Hell's a real hoot, but that Satan thinks Atlas Shrugged
is the worst novel ever written."
Four out of five doctors say that the first word
which comes to mind when they see Howie Kurtz
is 'smarmy'. The fifth doctor says 'unctuous'.
Opponents of Bilingual Signage Lodge Complaint with
City of North Vancouver
Why There Are Lawyer Jokes

Friday, October 19, 2007

If someone tells you the Earth isn't inhabited by aliens
from Outer Space, don't believe it. Here's all the proof you
need: the annual procession through the streets of Lima, Peru,
marking the anniversary of the earthquake back in the 1700s
that destroyed Lima but left a painting of the Purple Christ intact.
Huckleberry Finn

Huckleberry Thien
Throne House, South Korea

Trained seals do this for a lot less money.
Turkey's leaders--Tayyip, Hayati, Kursad, and Zafer--
vote unanimously to change their names to Peter,
Andrew, James, and John.
"Congratulations, Cathymanka Marika! You have been
chosen, along with your assistant, Gapala Yumupingu,
to direct the University Park Outreach Program of the
new George W. Bush Presidential Library."
"I'll be damned! These glasses do make
everything look like an Eskimo Pie."
Hamid Karzai Goes Forth to Water the Seeds of Democracy

"So you never graduated from medical school, eh? I guess
that explains why you called this a faith-based operation."
"If you can read this, thank a 50-foot teacher."
Mudslide Slim Shows How It's Done at the
"It's a beautiful mornin', Ahhh,
I think I'll go outside a while,
An jus' smile."
"It's absolutely despicable the way the Democrat Party
uses soldiers and children as political props!"
"How much longer before you decide waterboarding
amounts to torture, Mr. Mukasey?"

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Archbishop Daniel DiNardo Appointed First
Texas Cardinal, Applauded by Pope Benedict
for His Way with Supplicants
Contrary to popular belief, rightists don't attack just any
child on S-CHIP. They only attack when their weight
advantage is at least 10-1.
The South African National Defence Force is probing whether
a software glitch led to a malfunction of one of OCP's
ED-209s that killed nine soldiers and seriously injured
14 others during a shooting exercise on Friday.
"Listen up," said the disciple of Mark Hemingway. "If
your target is a two-year-old girl, like Bethany Wilkerson,
there's mudslinging involved. Sure, it's a dirty job, but
somebody has to do it."
"Can you believe it? I'm an absolute imbecile and
24% of the American people still think I'm doing
a heckuva job!"
"Better hop aboard, Gordon, or you'll be late for World War III!"

"I am revelant!"
Pentagon Unveils Newest Weapon in the
Global War on Terror: the Trojan Cock
Take one look at Mark Hemingway and you understand
why his parents never allowed him to be used as a prop
in a political debate.
Sarko the Giant Dumps Second Wife After
Steamy Affair with Rainy Day Woman

George Bush Sprinting to the End of His Presidency
He couldn't believe she was dumb enough to
wear flip-flops in the snow.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Lowest Prices of the Season!
Shop Now at Lenin-N-Things,
Your Ideology Super Store
Can you believe the same state which produces
Wild Turkey Bourbon also produces jake leg
senators like Mitch McConnell?
"Remember, my child, a rainbow has nothing to do with Noah
and the flood. It is just an optical and meteorological
phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear
in the sky when the Sun shines onto droplets of
moisture in the Earth's atmosphere."
Only The Big Cheese make it to the mountaintop.
Cat and Mouse Playing Games
After President Bush heard his approval rating had
fallen to 24%, he almost swallowed his stiff upper lip.
"It is hard to deny what Republicans are--a bunch of bitter,
nasty, petty, snarling, sneering, vicious thugs, peering through
people’s windows so they can make fun of their misfortune."
Thus saith John Cole, lifelong Republican and
Pajamas Media blogger.
"Barbacoa! Chili Con Carne! Tacos Al Carbon!
Carne Asada! Fajitas! Do you understand what
I'm saying, El Toro?"

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Public Urinal Faces Jail Time for Swearing
at Pennsylvania Piddler
Polar Bear Celebrating Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize Shortly
Before Being Clubbed by Rightist Storm Troopers