Saturday, January 12, 2008

"Worst President ever? Well, at least I
outdid my old man."
Three Visions of Paradise




Fearguth's Rules of Order #7
If an orangutan insists on giving you
a piece of its lip, listen politely.
Former Infant Displays Tattoo Awarded for Being a
Gerber's Baby That Didn't Spit Up Strained Spinach
B-1 Bomber Dusting Iraqi Crops
"Your honor, my client would like to enter a plea of
'Not Guilty by Reason of Being Mike Tyson'."
"You told the entire platoon that you were the father of
Nicole Richie's child. So why, Private Bootlicker, was
she named Harlow Winter Kate Madden?"
Why doesn't million-year-old ice show its age?

Pope Benedict Holding Private Audience
with Roger the Shrubber
Sarko the Giant Robbed of Precious Bodily Fluids;
Carla Bruni Rumored to Be Prime Suspect
"Me, the 'Filipino Monkey'? Get real! I wouldn't know
the difference between the Straight of Hormuz and
the Gay of Bangkok!"

Friday, January 11, 2008

In a suit, Chris Matthews looks like Fibber McGee.
In a dress, he looks like Molly.
President Bush is blaming the writers' strike for the
bad jokes he told while on his state visit to Israel.
South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate
Additional Proof That Dinosaurs Still Exist
Fidel had become pessimistic about what America's economic
downturn portended for global sales of Castro caps.
Something told the old man that Officer
Friendly had retired.

Rudy Giuliani has discovered an ingenious method for giving
his campaign staff a 100% tax cut: just don't pay 'em!
Those who live in the Kristol Palace
should not throw stones.
Fred Thompson Before He Took His Metamucil

Fred Thompson After
Iranians Re-Enacting Gulf of Tonkin Incident

Bleggar Raising Funds for RedState 3.0
South Korean Protester Arrested for
Uncovering Unsightly Bellybutton
Silhouette Eating Fatfree Apple

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Little Known Fact #4
They didn't know it at the time (some 390 million years ago),
but sea scorpions were taller than the tallest player in the NBA.
The balloons were terrified when they saw the Iranian
speedboats and heard a voice saying, "I am coming to you.
You will explode after a few minutes."
New Hampshire's Republican primary only proved that
more Republicans would rather die with John McCain
than live free with Mitt Romney.
Every time Jose Sand exposed his axillary hairs,
the crowd went wild.
Fearguth's Rules of Order #6
Always yield the right-of-way to pandas eating bamboo.
Michael Jordan, World's Wealthiest Cobbler
Pollsters now say they got the outcome of the New Hampshire
primary so wrong because the voting behavior of ring-tailed
lemurs on Election Day was impossible to predict.
MoDo's Cat

Maureen Dowd Diagnosed with Keratoconjunctivitis Sicca,
Blames Disorder on Hillary Clinton