Saturday, July 05, 2014

Rude Rhymes #76

Senegal Gum

Laura Ingraham
Brian Nieves Sez:  "I'm ready to stand up to the ACLU, 
judges, mayors, or any other Constitution violating
 activists and follow our Constitution by saying no to 
same-sex marriage!"
"Ya know, Ted, I guess we Republicans are all wacko 
birds now."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #581
Brandon Smith
Warm Scuzzies #480
Anthony Cumia

Friday, July 04, 2014

Factoid of the Hour #21
The words of 'The Star-Spangled Banner' are from the
poem, 'Defense of Fort McHenry'.  The music is from
an English drinking song, 'To Anacreon in Heaven'.
Anacreon was a Greek lyric poet of the 6th century
BCE who wrote drinking songs.
[Bottoms up!]
It's a 4th of July Barbecue at the Alito's!
The Unexpurgated Bible #100
And when her maid had opened the ark of bulrushes, 
Pharaoh's daughter saw the baby Moses: and, behold,
 he wept. And she said, "We must stop illegal immi-
gration here and now!  Deport the child at once!"
Uh-oh,  it's Independence Day again!
"F-35, since it cost $4 billion to build you, couldn't you at
least taxi without catching on fire?"

Thursday, July 03, 2014

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #45
Alan Long
Greg Gutfeld Trying to Decide What He Would Enjoy
More:  Truth or 'Sex without Consequences'
"As John Paul Jones said, 'I have not yet begun to lose!'"
Flag Desecration #78
"I used to read my readers' comments, but it was just 
too psychologically damaging.  So then I would ask my 
assistant to read them, until he committed suicide."
Is Laura Ingraham a Fremen?
Yikes!  Dana Loesch has a husband!
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #7
A Hand-Held Instant-Death Machine
Only in America can a Roy McCool---an obviously deranged
Doomsday Prepper---legally own 10 guns (including an AR-15) 
and thousands of rounds of ammunition.
Sign of the Times #54
Like the gods, Mitt is immortal so long
as people keep believing in him.
Burger Dog:  A Classic Burger in a Hot Dog Bun. 
American Ingenuity at Its Finest!
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #151
If there was ever any doubt that the Supreme
Court is just another partisan political
institution, Sammy 'The Clown' Alito
erased it.
Scott Lively Sez:  "Help me!  I'm being dehumanized
through ridicule by John Oliver and the Alinskyites!"
[No doubt, it won't be long before Pastor Lively starts
shitting Pink Bricks.]
"My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!"

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Secret Agent for Warner Brothers Bags MGM's Mascot,
Leo the Lion
Area Man Gets Potted After
Chugging Bottle of Potted
Florida Man Incarcerated for Animal Cruelty Claims He
Was Merely Standing His Ground Against the 
Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #50
Charles C. Johnson
Greg Abbott, a Wholly-Owned Subsidiary of
Koch Industries
At the Thunderdome Convenience Store in Valdosta, Georgia,
two men enter, one man leaves.
Even as an adult, Harry Potter was a wizard when it came
to dogs.
Soccer-Loving Elk Show Solidarity with 
Occupy Ann Coulter Protesters
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #580
Trevor Loudon
Warm Scuzzies #479
Kendall Jones

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

These five Old Catholic Men---Anthony Kennedy (77), Antonin
Scalia (78), John Roberts (59), Samuel Alito (64), and Clarence
Thomas (66)---have ruled that corporations aren't required to
 offer contraceptive coverage in their employee insurance 
plans under Obamacare.  Why is this not surprising?
Common Core

Common Bore
Oxymorons for Our Time #166
Cheney Charm Offensive
Insects have begun to gather for National Moth Week.
Ann Coulter was giddy when she learned she had moved up to 
#28 on the list of 'Top 50 Villains in Wrestling History'.
"Nice cape!"
"Yes, I made it out of materials I bought at Hobby Lobby."

Monday, June 30, 2014

Official Beverage of Rogue
The Unexpurgated Bible #99
And the Supreme Court blessed those who labored for 
Hobby Lobby, and the Supreme Court said unto them, 
"Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and 
subdue it."
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #49
Larry Gatlin

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Howdy Doody Battles Puppet Image
Under enhanced interrogation, he finally confessed that he
 was just a 'Stunt Mormon' and that he had joined the Church 
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for the sole purpose of 
experiencing the joy of being excommunicated by the First 
Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Fox Host Suspicious His Nude Knob Was Designed As 
Distraction To Help Obama
Japanese Man Sets Self on Fire in Medium-Rare Protest