Saturday, June 26, 2010

Zebra Finch: a Bird of a Different Feather
"It's like this. If we kill them in the name of our religion
or political ideology, we're 'Freedom Fighters'. But if they
kill us in the name of their religion or political ideology,
they're 'Terrorists'. Got that?"
"Omigod, I'm so full of shit I'm turning brown!"
Who is she trying to fool? Liz is not
standing, is she?
"All I did was misinform the American people
about Iraq's WMD and Saddam Hussein's links
to Al-Qaida. By contrast, Dave Weigel dissed
Matt Drudge in private email. Can you imagine
how hurt Matt's feelings were when those
emails came to light?"
About 4,000 people are expected to attend Sarah
Palin's speech Saturday night at the Oil Palace in
Tyler. Representative Louie Gohmert is scheduled
to lead the audience in singing the theme song from
the Beverly Hillbillies, and Governor Rick Perry will
recite his ode to petroleum jelly, 'Josephine, Don't
Forget the Vaseline!'.

Friday, June 25, 2010

"Tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it.
I'll say whatever it takes!"
"You must have misheard what I said. I didn't say
I am opposed to gay marriage because of the 'Ick
Factor'. I said 'Hick Factor'."
Two-Minute Haters #10
Lou Ann Zelenik
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #34
The Unbearable Whiteness of Being
Warm Scuzzies #88
The Sarah Palin Legal Defense Fund
Oxymorons for Our Time #43
Thomas Sowell's Prodigious Intellect
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #55
The Castillo Chronicles
"Wassup, Glenn! Carlos and I would like to invite
you over for some World Cup soccer action and
an ice-cold Bud."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #55
Ann Coulter and Alyssa Cordova
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #115

Thursday, June 24, 2010

"Say 'Tweet!' one more time and I will serve
you up as a Whack-a-Mole Salad!"
If we didn't know better, we might think this is
Oust™ killing odor-causing bacteria in the air.
And then there was BP, the King Midas who
turned everything he touched into black gold.
Oxymorons for Our Time #42
Brain Management
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #179
Joan Swirsky
Corn Earworm Sez: "Unlike Missouri farmer David
Jungerman, who has received over $1 million in
government subsidies, I am NOT a parasite."
Robbing Peter to Pay Paul
"Heheheheheheee Wipe Oooout!"
"See, I told you getting a haircut lowers your ears.
And you didn't believe me, did you?"
World's Worst Yoobs #74
Katherine Mangu-Ward
"I do not use Brilliantine on my hair.
I use WD-40."
What Worrying Over the Federal Budget Day
After Day Does to Your Face

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #178
Randy Brogdon
There's something about Greta Van Susteren that
makes you want to grit your teeth.
House GOP Retains Barton as Energy
Panel's Rankest Member
McChrystal Relieved of Command, Will Begin Second
Career Playing Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in the
Remake of Full Metal Jacket
Congressman Barton's Lips Reportedly Sealed
with Krazy Glue by GOP Colleagues
"With all due respect, General McChrystal,
please just fut the shuck up!"

Would that be 10W-30 or 10W-40?
As shown here, Joe Barton's seat on the Energy
Committee is both safe and sanitary.
"The B-I-B-L-E,
Yes, that's the Book for me;
I stand upon the Word of God
The B-I-B-L-E!"
Warm Scuzzies #87
Martin Feldman
Petroleum Industry Hat Worn by Louisiana Judge
Who Overturned Drilling Bans

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Wow! Is this what's called being
enthusiastic about voting?
"I hate Julius Wellhausen's Documentary Hypothesis!
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"
Mothra Joins Widespread Panic for the Band's
Latest Musical Triumph
World's Worst Yobs #170
Jackson Diehl
Lady Gaga to Start New Restaurant
Chain Called 'Shooters'
President Says, "Everything Has to Be on the Table;"
Bipartisan Debt Commission Says, "Yum, Yum!"
Were you to peer inside General McChrystal's skull,
all you would see is sand, sand, and more sand.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Oddly enough, the crazy man in this picture is Rep.
Phil Gingrey (R-GA), not the man in the yellow
suit and funny hat.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #177
David Jungerman
It's probably not a good idea to wear your
'Barack Obama Is My Homeboy' t-shirt
when you go in to see Dr. Fleming for
your annual physical.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #54
Reihan Salam and Ross Douthat