Saturday, June 16, 2012

World's Worst Yobs #253
Neil Munro
Team Wendy's Disconsolate After Baconator Debacle
in Kiev
We Come in Peace for All Mankind
Whirlybird Hunting Season Now Open in Brazil

Friday, June 15, 2012

The stock price of Cynicism reached a new high today when
the Discovery Channel revealed that Captain Kangaroo 
was never actually a captain, that he had padded his resume
 and had never risen above the rank of corporal.
Colonel Sanders Sez:  "Although I'm often 
confused with Fearguth, don't be fooled:  
he neither owns a string tie nor does he 
know my secret recipe of  eleven herbs
and spices."
Little Known Fact #30
When she's Wonder Woman, Sarah Palin
 can run so fast she can dodge all the
raindrops in a thunderstorm and never 
get wet.  When she's not, she's just 
another grifter.
The Politico Illustrated #26
"Welcome to Inside David Koch, brought to you by 
The Politico's resident colonoscopists, Kenneth 
P. Vogel and Tarini Parti.  Oh, the mouse?  Just
a local resident.  Calls itself Danger Mouse."

"Sorry, no helicopter rides for climate change deniers."

Husband of Seven Wives Says Five Wives Vodka "Only 
80 Proof, Not Nearly Strong Enough to Get Me Through 
a Whole Week's Worth of Wives"
"Country First?  Ha!  John McCain
First?  Get real!  It's always been
Ed Harris First!"

"I'm Hispanic, you're Hispanic, we're all Hispanic!"

Local Band 'Really Enjoying' 5th Annual 
Budget Buster Summer Tour
"Tell them, Poppy, that you don't like Ross
Perot and that Juan Williams doesn't like
Michelle Malkin."
"Whoopee!  Now I can buy some new teeth!"
The Unexpurgated Bible #76
And as they were conferring, the President took bread, 
and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the lawmakers, 
and said, "Take, eat; this is from Subway."
"Remember, ladies:  here in Michigan, we only say 
'Naughty Bits'."

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #393
Mike Callton
"Hmmm, Mitt Romney must be speaking today in our 
nation's shrine to journalism."

Cougars Again Prowl Midwest
In a radio interview Thursday, Governor Rick
 Scott said he was forced to cast a provisional ballot
 in 2006 because election officials thought he was 
Sheldon Adelson to Bid $100,000,000 
During 2012 Presidential Auction
"It'll take time, Mr. President, but you'll
find that being Assassin-in-Chief is more
fun than playing Wolfenstein 3D."

After the Citizens United decision,  the word 'election'
fell out of favor and was replaced by 'private auction'.
"Yes, this is the last week to save up to 50% on great 
deals for Dads and Grads. Better buy now before I 
change my mind."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #148
Amy Kremer and Tom Whitmore

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Not a Very Nice Right-Wing Twit
Why do we always seem to be living in either Pre-War 
America, War America, or Post-War America?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Alabama Republican Flees Solar System to Pursue Milky Way
Galaxy Sperm Donation ‘Obsession’

Mitt Romney Submits 'RMoney', Wins 
Anagram Contest Hands Down
It's always difficult to tell when Representative Louie
 Gohmert (R-TX) is having a seizure and when he isn't.
"These 'National Security Leaks' have got to stop!  
There's only so much truth America can handle 
before it emerges from its cocoon and morphs into 
another changeless and hopeless Europe."

"Did you hear that talking to yourself makes you smarter?"
"Yes, that's obviously why I'm smarter than you are."

Latest Jeb Bush Drone Attack on Right-Wing
Republican Strongholds Wipes Out Dozens, 
Maybe Scores, Perhaps Even Hundreds
Those who know George Zimmerman best say that Shellie,
his wife, is even meaner than he is.
Jim Cramer is apparently one of those middle-aged men who
 believes hair at the bottom of the head distracts attention 
from its absence on the top.  Sorry, Jim, but it only makes 
your nob look even nuder and reminds us of the old 
adage, "Hair today, gone tomorrow."
"Are you experienced, sir?  Not necessarily stoned, but
Morte Gras
"What did you say they call this climbing wall?"
"Dick Cheney."
If you hope to be zombie-proof, you must follow the example
of Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) and be brains-free.
Have you ever wondered why Jesus didn't 
come to Earth as a billionaire, like Dr. Evil?
Of Chris Christie, it hath been said,  "He doesn't let 
grass grow under his feet:  it's too shady there."
Uncle Sam's Uncle
Local Villain Faces Felony Charge
 After Causing Four-Car Crash

"Tell me again:  are we about to go over a 'fiscal cliff' or
a 'physical cliff'?"

If Mitt Romney were a spy, he would be a Triple Agent:  
for his side, for our side, and for their side.  And he
would be disloyal to all three.

If Pigs Could Fly

If Pigs Could Talk
It's easy to spot a 21st-Century Whig.
John Sununu Sez:  "Who needs more teachers?  Look
what they did to me!"