Saturday, March 01, 2008

Prince William's hair stood on end when he learned
that his brother's life had been put in jeopardy by a
pasty-faced gumshoe, who
hides his bald head underneath
a goofy hat, by the name of

One out of every 100 adult Americans is now behind bars.
Inasmuch as Bildungblog has about 100 adult American
viewers, would the laughing perp among you please stand
up and applaud the fact that the United States has more of
its citizens locked up behind prison walls than any other
country in the world?
Hillary Hears the Sound of Silence in Waco, Texas
New Cuban President Pledges to Vanquish Yankee Imperialists by
the Time--Plus or Minus 50 Years--the U. S. Wins the War in Iraq
Higher Mathematics
Given intersecting planes described by a, b, c, and d, the lines
of intersection are perpendicular to both x and y, and are
thus parallel to z.
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin Undergoing
Fleur-de-Lis Recognition Security Check
When you drive a Puyo, people won't know whether
you're coming or going.
"Out, damnéd ball!"
Asked who his prime target was, Prince Harry said,
"That festering crapweasel, Matt Drudge!"

Official Portrait Selected for George Walker Bush
Presidential Library
"Body snatchers? Bring 'em on!" hearse driver says.

Military Heat Ray Gun Zaps Mr. Potato Head;
"He Was Delicious!" Crew Says
Former spokesman for Gary Bauer, top aide to Karl Rove, and
President Bush's liaison to social and religious conservatives
since 2001, Tim Goeglein has resigned. It would appear he had a
propensity to plagiarize and wear a flag lapel pin at the same time.

Friday, February 29, 2008

President Bush Upbeat about U. S. Economy

"I've always thought Huck and Jim's excellent adventure is
one of the most enduring images of escape and freedom in
all of American literature."
Government of the Philippines Strictly Enforcing
New Transparency-in-Protesting Law
"Scum-Sucking Pig!"
DNA tests have confirmed that Timothy Goeglein has
The main difference between John Hagee and Louis
Farrakhan is that the former can't play the violin.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

"Um, incidentally, do call me George. I don't want you
bothering with this 'President' nonsense! Ha ha ha ha!
Now where were we? Ah yes. Geldy Baby, you were asking
me about the Presidential M&Ms ..."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't like being called 'Geldy Baby'!"
Although Republican Representative John Doolittle
has announced he will be retiring at the end of 2008,
his dewlap, encouraged by the examples of Rick Renzi
and Larry Craig, intends to run for a 10th term.
Televangelist John Hagee Throws Weight Behind 
Senator McCain, Sets New World Record for 
Clean and Jerk
Bill Donohue Beetle and John Hagee Beetle in Three Falls,
No Time Limit Protestant-Catholic Death Match; Winner
Earns Right to Endorse John McCain for President
Chief Justice John Roberts has reportedly posted the following
on an Internet message board: "I am looking for an Exxon
Tiger Pillow offered as a promotion in the mid 70's. It is bright
orange with black stripes and shows just the tiger's face."
John Batchelor, quondam radio host and Fox News 'reporter',
has forgotten how to tie his bow tie. He blames his memory
lapse on the shock he experienced when he learned that
Bill Ayers, a Weatherman 40 years ago, donated $200
to Barack Obama's state senate campaign in 2001.
Bill Cunningham lets his finger do the talking.
"McCain's people told me to give the faithful red meat.
Give them red, raw meat. So I did. And as you know,
Sean, not even you can beat my meat!"
Matt Drudge Publishes Incriminating Photo of Barack Obama
Wearing Traditional Texas Garb
Robin Smith, Another McCain Sock Puppet
Barack Obama Caught Campaigning in Foreign Land

Bill Cunningham, McCain Sock Puppet

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

When Glenn Beck said, "I think Rick Santorum is a Winston
Churchill in many ways," the former Prime Minister of
England gave him not one, but two fingers.
What made Bill Buckley so special was that he was the
only human being known to have been born with a rare,
first edition of Roget's Thesaurus in his mouth.
When Bill Buckley published his first book, God and Man at
Yale (1951), there was never any doubt what role the university
played in the tale, but it was never clear whether the author
thought of himself as God or man.
Yes, for 82 years, conservatism was fun for William Frank
Buckley, Jr. It can be fun for you, too, so long as you
are well-born, well-bred, and well-heeled.
How many Terminator movies will it take before we realize
the threat to humanity posed by automated killer robots?

Member of Happy Tooth Party Cheerfully
Supports War Against Mr. Tooth Decay
All the President's Bagmen

"Why, little owl, do you look so wise while I look so foolish?"
Republican Representative Rick Renzi, husband of Roberta Renzi,
is the father of twelve children, all of whose first names begin with
the letter 'R'. His favorite tune is 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'
and his favorite cartoon character is Roger Ramjet. Rapped on 35
counts recently, Renzi refuses to resign, reckoning he'll be rescued
by President Richie Rich.
"Republicans, get off your dead asses and raise $7.5 million
for the National Republican Congressional Committee! And
don't worry your pointy little heads over that forged internal
audit business!"
Tim Russert's assignment in Hell will be to moderate
an eternal debate between two blind deaf mutes.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Still Life with Republican Amid Democratic Netroots
Track and field photographers are notorious for not placing their
hands over their hearts while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.
But, as you can see, there's a good reason why.
Clean-Shaven Co-Founder of RedState.Org to Wed Monica
Marie, Winner of Time's 'Goodling of the Year' Award
"While his back is turned, throw everything we've got
at him, including the kitchen sink!"
There are fans of anything and everything, even assholes.
"There is power, power, wonder working power in the blood.
But, oh, I'm beginning to feel faint."