All that remains for Senator Jim DeMint to complete his

metamorphosis into the Second Coming of Strom Thurmond

 is to father a love child on a black handmaiden. 

Be patient.

Jim's still young.

If you've been a REALLY bad boy this year, Santa may decide

 to pass over the lump of coal and put Megan Erhardt in your

Christmas stocking instead.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Willi, but, if I understand

what you're saying, you wore the beard and the hat

 so that moviegoers couldn't tell the difference

between you, a stunt muff diver, and, say, John

Wayne or the Cisco Kid."

"That's correct, my disguise was so recondite

movie audiences never could tell the difference."

Woo-Hoo Personals #7

Chicago Bear Desires to Hibernate

 This Winter with a Mama Grizzly

Sunny Days, Dark Knights

After the Afro was anglicized, it very quickly 
fell out of fashion.

"Sorry, kiddos, Bong Shapes are not included!"

Munchkin Denies 'Bogarting' Pizza Burger

Lady Gaga Celebrating the Repeal

of Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Toothless Smilodon Reportedly Skulking

Toward La Brea Tar Pits

Don't ask and Joe Manchin won't tell that he

skipped the votes on DADT today so that he

could attend a holiday party and join in the
singing of 'Hail West Virginia!'

 "Did someone just say that Halliburton paid the Nigerian

government a $250 million bribe to drop bribery charges

against me?"

"Yes, it was Dr. Zaius, the thinking-man's ape."

"That's one mighty smart monkey!"

Larry King Ends 25-Year Run on CNN,

Begins State of Suspendered Animation

Roofer Madness

Novice Buddhist Passing Martin Milner and George Maharis

Riding in an Invisible 1960 Powder Blue Corvette on Route

666 Five Miles South of Nirvana, Arizona

"Help! Help! I'm being tracked by my apps!"

New research from the University of Maryland shows that

Fox News' policy of 'Keep Them Barefoot and Ignorant'

is working.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #251

Humberto Fontova

Mr. Fish Accused of Using 'Enhanced Paronomasia Techniques'

"And that's when I told him that the 'DC Elites' were just a

figment of his plebeian imagination!"

Looking for a quick and easy way to join The Most Noble

Order of the Garter?  Here's how!

"Don't miss out on the rare opportunity to see these two

men live on stage. It's an event that makes Wrestlemania

seem like The Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera. You'll

hear from Bill, you'll hear from Glenn, and then...they'll take

 the stage together. What happens then? Heaven only knows,

 but one thing is for sure—you'll want to see it with your

very own eyes."

World's Worst Yobs #202

Jordan Sekulow

Charlie Wilson's Gun

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #43

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2: the Refrigeration of the Magi

What was at first thought to be the expression of a guilty

conscience on the President's face has now been explained

as merely the look of a sour stomach resulting from 

one-too-many Yuletide toasts.

Berms, which cost $220 million and captured .02% of the BP

oil spill, are known in Louisiana as 'Sand Jindals'.

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #79

Sweetness & Light

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #125

Said the cyborg, "Humans?  Who needs them?"

"Hey, my name's not 'Burberry'!" he shouted.

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #42

The Lamestreaming of Sister Sarah

Name That Thune Musical Quiz Show Debuts on Radio

Station WKXL in New Hampshire

Dancing with the Unemployed Becomes the Longest-Running

Reality Show in the History of American Television

Chairman and founder Reid Hoffman is not

so much 'linked in' as he is 'vegged out'.

If you want to know just how 'hot' Silvio

Berlusconi is, ask Vladimir Putin.

"As the Sturgeon-General of the United States, it saddens

me to report that a new study shows that people who make

a habit of wearing military uniforms have a shorter life

expectancy than those who don't."

Walrus Eating Goo Goo G'Joob

"I don't know about you, Spencer, but I need more blood!"

"Great news, my children!  The Senate has just passed the

tax cut plan by a wide margin!"

Allegories for Our Time #17

Afghani Licking an American Sucker

Klansman Pays Price for Discriminating Against

 Weather Forecast Made by Negro Meteorologist

"As far as my pets go," Rupert reflected after

a light lunch, "Sean Hannity has to be one of
my favorites."

Sean Hannity Sez:  "Thank God Rupert

Murdoch created a job for me!"

Puffington Host #2

"FILIBUSTER 'FIREWORKS'

Senate Democrats To Make Dramatic Push

For Filibuster Reform"

Pilot (Believed to Be the Last of the Wrong Brothers)

Survives Near Collision with Earth; Plane Doesn't

Radical Logicians Demonstrating Their

 Support for the Law of Identity

American Empire #52

Dictatorship of the Imbeciliat

May his untimely demise be

an admonition to us all.

Encouraged by the formation of a new political

party for disaffected centrists, moderates, and

independents,

America's apolitical majority has decided to form

a party of its own.