Saturday, May 16, 2015

"I understand the winner of our match gets to 
fight Octomom."
Louie Gohmert Sez:  "I represent 700,000 people from 
East Texas and a vast majority agree with me.”
["Lights out, everybody!"]
Photomicrograph of Nuts 
in a Squirrel Turd
Draw Pamela Geller #10
The Vituperator
According to the Public Policy Poll, about 75% of 
Rick Perry's supporters believe the Jade Helm 15 
Conspiracy Theory.  Which will happen first:
Obama's Takeover of Texas or the announcement 
of Rick Perry's presidential 
run on June 4?

Friday, May 15, 2015

Isn't Louie Gohmert concerned that 25% of Tea Party
supporters don't believe in the Texas Takeover 
Conspiracy Theory?
Draw Pamela Geller #9
The Carper
Warm Scuzzies #556
Tim Brown

Thursday, May 14, 2015

John Diehl Out as Missouri House
Good Widdance to Bad Wubbish!
Jeb Bush Accused of Being 'Pedantic', Is Placed on
'Pedant Watch List'
He was reminded of his insignifcance when he realized he 
had been told only 5 of the '10 Biggest Lies about the 
Trans-Pacific Partnership'.
Warm Scuzzies #555
John Diehl
Draw Pamela Geller #8
The Fishwife
Gosh darnit!  Jeb Bush misheard the question.
When he bashes the President, Senator Paul now uses a 
Barack Obama finger puppet to add a touch of realism to 
his critiques.
"Tell us again, Mr. Hewitt, how long the Spanish 
Inquisition has been forcing you to sit in the comfy chair."
"Nice fanny pack!"

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

According to the latest Public Policy Poll, 32% of 
Republicans believe in the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy 
theory, and another 28% haven't yet made up their 
minds whether they believe it or not.  That's 60% of 
the Republican Party who lack the requisite sanity to 
dismiss such a conspiracy theory out of hand.
Warm Scuzzies #554
Charles Perry
"Floyd Mayweather, you're not such a toughie!"
"I admit it:  the terrorists totally terrorize me!"

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

None is so blind as he who will not see.
Five Takeaways About the Ten Things You
 Should Know about the IMDb List of the 
Top 250 Martial Arts Movies of All Time
American Schutzstaffel #52
As it turned out, the solution to Allen West's anger issues
was really pretty simple.
Der Führer Sez:  "Quite frankly, I like
Godwin's Law.  So long as it remains in
 effect, I will never be forgotten."
"Uncle Buck is persecuting me because I'm a Christian!"
"Knowing what we know now,  Mr. Bush, would you have 
authorized the Iraq invasion?"
"I would have. And if I'm elected President, I will authorize 
the invasion of Iraq for a second--maybe even a third--time."
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #20
A Fire Double Down Maxx
What Allen West at first thought was a collision with 
Sharia Law turned out to be a close encounter with 
Walmart Law.  Nonetheless, he still saw it as another 
ominous sign of Christian persecution.
Like the Terminator, Happy Boy was on a mission to 
neutralize the woman carrying the child who would
someday lead the resistance against the Rise of the 
Happiness Machines.
Draw Pamela Geller #7
The Ogress
Senator Vitter's years as a whoremonger had really taken
 its toll on his face.
Young Lion Reacts to the News about the Cancellation 
of American Idol

Monday, May 11, 2015

Following his successful cancer
surgery, Rob Ford could only
communicate by means of 
hand signals.  One Thumb Up
meant "I'm still alive!"  Two
Thumbs Up meant "Fire up
the crack pipe!"
David Chesley, political director for Rand Paul's New 
Hampshire campaign, has just invented a new perversion. 
 It's called 'Lens Licking'.
You don't have to be crazy to live in Louie Gohmert's 
congressional district, but it sure helps.
Those ISIS fighters training three miles
south of El Paso are so cleverly disguised
no one has yet seen them, except Louie
Captain Ahab's wife was beginning to get under his skin.
Megyn Kelly Joins the Pamela Geller Sisterhood
Disciples of Edmund Burqa
Is the United States facing a 'Masculinity Crisis'?
Draw Pamela Geller #6
The Hag
Warm Scuzzies #553
Nancy Gordeuk

Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Unexpurgated Bible #116
And then Jesus said, "To make sure you rid the world of ISIS, 
you need to bomb it back to 569, the year before Muhammad 
was born."
"I'm not a neophyte.  I'm a dermatophyte!"
"Mistakes were made."
Draw Pamela Geller #5
The Virago