Saturday, February 20, 2010

There was something about him:
was it the shirt or the Aqua Velva?
If Kevin McCullough claimed to be a sex
addict, would anybody believe it?
Why did they always insist that he dress
and act like a grownup?
Oxymorons for Our Time #24
Conservative Rapper
Benny Hinn's Wife Files for Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable
Differences in Fleecing Methodology
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #135
Rob Port
"It's me 'beak', you sod, not a
'horny projecting mouth'!"
Suzy the Sousaphone, Tubby the Tuba's Cousin, Waiting
with Personal Trainer to Greet Sarko the Giant

Friday, February 19, 2010

World's Worst Yobs #155
Steven Crowder
Some say Pawlenty is a Polish word
meaning 'prevaricator'.
Just not this woman.
"Unless the Federal Marriage Amendment is
resurrected, I may become gay."
Tiger Woods Apologizes, Admits He's
a Somnambulist
"If I were any whiter, my albedo would be higher
than freshly-fallen snow."
"Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols
says he's going on a hunger strike because he claims
prison officials don't provide him a fiber-rich diet."
The old Romney wore a spotted tie.

The new Romney wears a striped tie.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #134
Mark Madsen
Five days to payday and she
was flat busted.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Six Symptoms of Krohn's Disease
Is Israel-bashing anti-Semitic? No.
Is Frum-bashing anti-emetic? Yes.
Whither Canada?
"Bugger off, I'm absolutely stuffed!"

Warm Scuzzies #62
MeMe Roth
"Careful which way you aim that
morning breath, Estevan!"
Four years and 13,930 posts ago, Fearguth brought forth
on this Internet a blog, dedicated to the proposition that
words and pictures could be happily married so that wit
and mirth shall not perish from the Earth.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Exclusive: Hot Air Acquired by Salem Witch
Trial Communications
New Study Shows Generic 'Thumbs Up' Just as
Effective as Brand Name 'Thumbs Up' Which
Costs Twice--Maybe Three Times--as Much
"Am I a philosophical cat," the tiger
wondered, "or am I just reflecting?"
Workers Separating the Pearls Which Will Be Cast
Before Swine From Those Which Won't
"Besides a piece of the True Nose of Ronald Reagan,
which, I understand, you hope can someday be used
to clone the 40th President of the United States,
what else, Peggy, do you keep in your reliquary?"
People Waiting in Line to Become the Next Leader
of the Taliban
"Sarah, your speech in Nashville gave me the
first hard-on I've had in years. But, gosh darn
it, my hand had fallen completely asleep!
Robert Welch's Reading of The Black Book
at CPAC Spoiled by Mischievous Ghost of
Dwight Eisenhower
"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Donald
Trump and his Area 51 Rug!"
"And a special Thank You to all the Labs who
once again proved that nice dogs finish last."
Steele Appeases Tea Party Activists with Danky Moves
Good Emo

Bad Emo
Imagine a cruise aboard The Love Boat with
stops at Fantasy Island, Gilligan's Island,
and Myst Island.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Tests Show King Tut Died from
Complications Associated with
Bipartisanship, Study Says
After Ken Starr becomes President of Baylor University,
guess who is the least likely former President of the
United States to be awarded an honorary doctorate
in Waco, Texas?
Daft Bunk
Breed a snob with a cat and this is what you get.
Carrie Prejean Engaged to Marry Ram; Opponents
of Same-Sex Marriage Who Warned It Would
Lead to Bestiality Claim Vindication
If faux outrage is your shtick, take one of these capsules
daily, preferably with a meal served cold.
"PingPing, I would suppose the air
is considerably cooler and thicker
down there. Am I right?"
Global Warming Denialism Explained
1. It is more convenient to believe that
global warming is not occurring.
2. It is more comfortable to believe that even if
global warming is occurring, we humans are
not the cause.
3. Even if global warming is occurring and humans
are the cause, it is easier to do nothing about it.
Taliban Commander's Capture Called
'Biggest Exaggeration Since 9/11'
Update: America's Interest in Bayh Presidential
Candidacy? 'None, Whatsoever'