Exposed:  Bibi Netanyahu Target of

Vast Peanut Butter Conspiracy

Southern Talibaptist Leader Gets Hosed at International 

Association of Firefighters Legislative Conference and 

Presidential Forum

Find Them in the Biscuit Aisle

"Then I got down out of the boat, walked on the water and 

came toward President Reagan. But when I saw the wind, 

I was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Mr. 

President, save me!” Immediately he reached out and

handed me his family Bible."

Susan Brooks, the GOP's Blue Leather Girl, wants a 

'neutral arbiter' to rummage through Hillary Clinton's

 email in search of the legendary Black Beast of 

Benghazaaaaarggh!

Get this man a wet nurse, STAT!

Warm Scuzzies #540

Jason Villalba

He began to worry when he saw that the penis transplant

surgeons were wearing binoculars.

"Look, I did the best I could in the Washington Post to

polish the turd dropped on the Republican Party by

the 47 Senators who signed the Iran letter authored

by Tom Cotton, that  37-year-old Arkansas hayseed.  

Give me a break!"

"'King Cotton'?  You have to admit it calls to mind the

 South of aristocratic planters, beautiful southern 

belles, poor white trash, faithful household slaves, 

and sweaty field hands.  In other words, Arkansas

in the good old days."

Who in his right mind would 'rehome' his adopted

daughters with this guy?  That's correct:  Justin Harris.

Justin Harris Sez:  "Sure, I have big

hair.  It's because I have a big head.

In fact, my whole body is wider than

a party barge."

"Hello, I'm Barbie and I want to learn more about you.

So talk to me and I promise not to tell The Elf on the Shelf."

If your donuts look a tad sunburned, it may be because

Dunkin has stopped putting sunscreen on them.

Warm Scuzzies #539

Justin Harris

When it considered today's GOP, the Bald Eagle wished it 

had hands so it could do a proper facepalm.

Jason Voorhees Joins the 47 Traitors in Wishing You

a Very Merry Friday the 13th

World's Worst Yobs #324

Ian Tuttle

"'Twixt the Optimist and the Pessimist

the difference is droll.

The Optimist sees the donut,

the Pessimist sees the hole."

Breaking News Mashups #11

'Lindsey Graham's First Act as Prez? 

Eat World's Oldest Pretzel'

Warm Scuzzies #538

Rodner Figueroa

Tehran Tom Salutes America!

Remember the Neutron Bomb?  It killed people but saved

their property.  Well, meet Neutron Tom: he kills people

but saves their kitty cats.

First there was Pig in a Blanket.

Now there's Dog in a Mummy Bag.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #67

Tom Cotton

Bobby Jindal Sez:  “Maybe I’m not what they think a 

conservative should look like.”

[Could be, Bobby, could be.]

It was only fitting that former Congresswoman Michele

Bachman be given a cameo role in Sharknado 3, for she 

had been the only Republican who could juggle two 

sharknadoes while speaking in the Capitol rotunda.

Meanwhile, in the Texas Lege

"How am I supposed to 'step down' when I'm so low the

bottom looks up to me?"

Tom the Mutant Mecha-Turtle

Cheeky Joke

Ah, that spunky Adolf!  He knew where

 the bodies were buried.

Sign of the Times #64

Discount Grocer, Discount Subversive

It's no accident they're called 'Red States'.

GOP Blames Obama for Taking 20,000

Breaths Per Day and Riding a Trike as a 

Child

Did Russian mobsters steal Tom Cotton's identity and sell

 it on the black market to Iran?  Is he the 'Manchurian

Candidate' for our time?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #615

Beauton Gilbow

Flag Desecration #85

Warm Scuzzies #537

Ronald Brockmeyer

"We Republican hardliners have harder lines than those

Iranian hardliners.  Back home, they call me the Ayatollah

of Yell County, Arkansas."

Here's the Scoop on the

Walmart Watch:  It Tells Time, It Talks

to You, and It Costs Only $10.88

['Nuff said.]