Washingtonpost.com Removes 'Mad Bitch' Video;
Spokesperson Says "Satirical Piece" "Went Too
Far Up the Colonic Irrigation Canal"

Fifty years ago, Rush Limbaugh wouldn't have been called
a racist because virtually all white people in America back
then were racists and didn't even know it. He's called a racist
today because America has changed dramatically and Rush
hasn't. He's still living in the days of Leave It to Beaver.
But even this throwback to the 1950s has to mind his p's
and q's today, not daring to utter his white supremacist
ideology in plain English, using instead dog whistles,
euphemisms, code words, and other indirections to
avoid saying what he wants to say so badly it may make
him bust someday, namely, the dreaded N-word.

Fearguth's Rules of Order #31
Tickling a polar bear cub's left foot does not increase the
likelihood it will give a correct answer to the question,
"Is there a recognizable difference in the behavior of
people who are either insane, unsane, or nonsane?"

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #4
John Hawkins and Melissa Clouthier

Mark of the Beast

Trademark of the Beast

First Warning Sign of Spontaneous Human Combustion

World's Worst Yobs #116
Frank Luntz

Did you know the 'mad bitch' behind Mad Bitch Beer
is none other than the Washington Post's answer to
Sani-Flush®, Dana Milbank?

Dana and Chris say they owe their success
in landing their jobs with Mouthpiece
Theater to

Bipedal Killing Machine Very Proud of Technicolor Muffler

Bonner & Associates

"Nah, Secretary Rumsfeld, Obama is too much of a reverse
racist to ever invite me to an 'Oxycontin Summit'."

Blunt Instrument

Another Blunt Instrument

"How can this be a 'beer summit', Mr. President, when
the Bud Light you're drinking really isn't beer?"

Poll: 28% of Republicans Are Birthers
Who Live in District 9

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #61
Carey Baker

Christopher Hitchens:
England's Most Famous Expatriate and
Nicotine-Powered Swilling Machine

"Feeling more ascetic these days? Inclined toward
self-mortification? How does self-flagellation
sound? Well, why not try my lashes?"

Not the Same as 'Mormon Corridor'
(But Close)

Emails Show Karl Rove Played Bigger Role in U. S.
Attorney Scandal Than Known by People Who Died
Before the Invention of the Wheel

News from the Korean Peninsula confirms what has

long been suspected, namely, that the condoms worn

by Kim Jong-il, North Korea's Maximum Leader, are

actually hand-made in South Korea by rubber-blowers

with extremely powerful lungs and a robust industrial base.

Stocks have surged to record levels for the year.

We all know whose fault that is, don't we?

“I’m on the side of conservatives getting back

to core conservative values," says Senator David

Vitter (R-LA), leader of the GOP's Rent-a-Fuck

Caucus on Capitol Hill.

"I am not a crook!"

[Richard Nixon, November 18, 1973]

"I am not a racist!"

[Justin Barrett, July 29, 2009]

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #3
John Negroponte and Michael Hayden

Some critics of Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) say he's

way too white. Others says he's not white enough.
All the Senator will say is that he's a whiter shade
of pale.

Officer Justin Barrett's Fixation on 'Banana-
Eating Jungle Monkeys' Linked to Early
Childhood Trauma Caused by Viewing
The Wizard of Oz without Proper
Adult Supervision

George Bush Christens Louie Gohmert,
Born-Again Birther

Chuck Todd Praying That Glennzilla
Returns to Monster Island Soon

"Though we've got to say good-bye
For the summer
Darling, I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
Everyday in a letter
Sealed with a kiss."

Rupert Murdoch's Worst Nightmare: Glenn Beck and
His Disciples Switch to the Dark Side of the Force

If hummingbirds could speak while feeding, all they
would ever say is, "Sweet!" And do you think they might
give a good goddam if you think that's a cliche popular
with young people?

"As you will soon learn, soldier, stopping truth from coming
out of the barrel of a gun is easy. Stopping bullets, however,
is a wee bit harder."

"A recent study has suggested that Iraqus Interruptus is
an effective form of death control. But I would argue
that the push for pulling out is fundamentally flawed."

Doesn't it strike you as odd that while many people ask, "Does
God exist?", no one ever asks, "Does Jonah Goldberg exist?"
Mightn't the world be a more rational place if it were the
other way round?

If you had to become a part of your body, which part
would you choose to be? Your feet? Not likely. But
why is that?

Great men don't need badges or guns to establish
their authority. Little men do.

The scorpion mating process can take from 1 to 25+ hours
and depends on the ability of the male to find a suitable
place to deposit his spermatophore. If mating goes on
longer than that, the female may eventually lose interest
and take up Twittering.

Sarah Palin Singing the Final Chorus
of 'Quitty Quitty Bang Bang'

Even if you didn't have to look at his oleaginous face,
Howard Kurtz's voice is enough to make your ears
feel defiled.

"You may have seen the video where I stare at
pens for ten minutes in the Congressional Book
Store. Contrary to what you may have heard, I
was not hiding from some leftist rabble-rouser
with a mic and camera. No, as anyone who knows
me will tell you, I'm a comparison shopper who
never spends a dime without carefully weighing
all the alternatives. That takes time."

Natty Light:
Cheap,
Tastes Like Shit,
Still Fucks You Up

Alaska's Wilderness Playgrounds Re-Open After
Mooselini's Abdication

Succoring Officer Friendly

Three-Card Monte

Big Bertha

Big Birther