Although Republican Representative John Doolittle

has announced he will be retiring at the end of 2008,

his dewlap, encouraged by the examples of Rick Renzi

and Larry Craig, intends to run for a 10th term.

In retirement, Republican Representative

John Doolittle intends to do even less.

"Are you still around? I told you my wife will no longer skim

15% off the top of all the funds she raises for my campaigns.

I hope this makes you happy. Now, will you please get off

my case!"

This is a publicity still from the upcoming movie,

30 Seconds Over the Marianas, starring John

Doolittle, produced by Tom DeLay, and directed

by Jack Abramoff.

Republican Representative John Doolittle has

devised a system of self-enrichment that's as

ingenious as it is corrupt. First, he hires his

wife to raise money for his political PAC. Second,

she skims 15% off every dollar raised. So far,

this scheme has netted the Doolittle duo nearly

$140,000 over the past two years.

One day after this picture was taken, the

panhandler, who goes by the name of Hitchhiker, was

hired as a fundraiser by Congressman John Doolittle.

Cryptic Message Intercepted on the Internet Baffles NSA

Loosely translated, it reads:

"Noe and Ney Doolittle to DeLay Scooter

or to Jack Dick as Bush Burns"

"If anyone else in this House

asseverates or insinuates that

I, John Doolittle, do little,

I'm going to do even less."

These are name-brand suits from California,

John Doolittle and Ted Gaines.

It's easy to tell them apart:

one wears glasses

and the other one doesn't.

Representative John Doolittle (on the left)

and his wife, Julie (on the right), were 
delighted by the advance screening of

Planet of the Japes, starring Brent 
Wilkes, Ed Buckham, and Jack Abramoff.