Prince William's hair stood on end when he learned
that his brother's life had been put in jeopardy by a
pasty-faced gumshoe, who hides his bald head underneath
a goofy hat, by the name of

Asked who his prime target was, Prince Harry said,

"That festering crapweasel, Matt Drudge!"

"Oh, my darling Prince Harry, can you keep a secret?"