You know you're a Ho when people say
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" and it's July.

When he heard that Bill O'Reilly was sending Jesse
Watters to stalk and ambush him, the UPS driver
said, "Bring him on!"

Home Safety Tip #3

If a UPS driver is dressed like this when

he delivers a parcel to your front door,

don't open it.

If you work package pickup for UPS in Turkey,

you can't be too careful.