Just Announced: The Vince Schlomi
Prize for Shameless ShamWowiness
and Full-Tilt Teabaggery

"Billy Mays, Billy Mays, why hast thou forsaken me?"

ShamWow! easily removes cola, wine and pet
stains---but not, apparently, bloodstains.

Prostitute Bites Slap Chop Pitchman's Tongue,
Says, "I Hate His Nuts!"