"I would confess I'm no expert on Iraq and no expert on

military matters. That's why President Bush picked me

to be Secretary of Defense. All he asked me was, 'How

many Aggies does it take to fuck up a baked potato?'

And I told him, 'Mr. President, I honestly don't know

because I have never baked a potato in my life.' That's

when he said, 'Bobby Boy, you're hired'!"