"Condoleezza Rice. You remember me, don't you?
I was the only National Security Adviser and
Secretary of State who had an

oil tanker named after her."

After serving as Donald Rumsfeld's adviser on 'extended
interrogation techniques' for several years, William 'Jim'
Haynes resigned from the Defense Department last February
 to become Chief Corporate Counsel at Chevron, where his
duties include developing new techniques for torturing the
American people with higher and higher gasoline prices.

"The very idea Barbara Boxer would claim that I'm

unmarried and childless! Has she forgotten I once

spawned a Chevron supertanker?"