World's Worst Yobs #319

Ken Dilanian

AP Confirms:  GOP Frontrunner Is Long-Lost Third Koch

Brother; Actual Name Is Herman Koch-Cain

World's Worst Yoobs #79

Holly Bailey

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #102

The Unexpurgated Bible #28
Then the Moonie said, "Bring me a sword." So they brought
a sword before the Moonie. And the Moonie said, "Divide
John Solomon in two, and give half to the Associated Press,
the other half to the Washington Post.

The AP's Liz 'Sprinkles' Sidoti has a question

for us: "Is Obama obnoxiously articulate?"

Associated Press Chairman 'Mad as Hell',
Refuses to Let Howard Beale Be Put Out to Pasture

AP writer Charles Babington, seen by some as a

fantasist, has been captured by the gravitational

pull of Washington forces and now orbits

Columbus Circle.

Does anybody know if the AP's 'Sprinkles' Sidoti

went down with Senator McCain? If not, why not?

Among his many qualifications to be a correspondent for the

Associated Press was Charles Babington's uncanny ability to

analyze and critique Barack Obama's speeches even before

he heard them.

When the stress of being the Washington Bureau Chief for the

Associated Press makes him want to tear his hair out, Ron

Fournier takes time off for a little relaxation therapy at

McCain's Hideaway, his little cabin in the woods.

In her latest AP dispatch, Nedra Pickler refers to Joe

Lieberman as "the Democratic vice presidential prick
in 2000 who now is an independent." Accused of telling

the truth about the Senator, Pickler quickly backpedaled,

claiming it was only a typo.

According to the Associated Press, the United States is now winning

the war that two years ago seemed lost. That does not mean the

war has ended or that U.S. troops have no role in Iraq. They will

need to keep winning the war for the next 50, maybe 100, years.

"I was an AP political reporter," writes Ron Fournier, "at the

time of the 2004 e-mail exchange [with Karl Rove], and

was interacting with a source, a top aide to the president,

in the course of following an important and compelling story.

I regret the breezy nature of the correspondence." 'Breezy'

means 'displaying a light-hearted nonchalance'. This word

hardly describes what Fournier wrote to Rove about Pat

Tillman: "The Lord creates men and women like this all

over the world. But only the great and free countries allow

them to flourish. Keep up the fight." That sounds about as

'breezy' as 'Onward Christian Soldiers', doesn't it?

Wear this press badge, say Senator McCain sent you,

and Dunkin' Donuts will give you a 20% discount on

a box of donuts with sprinkles.

"If you are a teacher, administrator or student at an accredited

educational institution and certify that you will use our words

for educational purposes only, we will let you borrow them

for as little as 3¢ a word. Cash or credit, same low price."

New Mascot for the Associated Press

Bilal Hussein Exonerated; Malkin Not Talkin'

Nedra Pickler, an AP reporter, has never forgiven her

parents for saddling her with such an unAmerican name.

Most recently, she has taken revenge on Barack Obama

for her onomastic misfortune, claiming that his name

is even less patriotic than hers.