Sepp Blatter Banned by FIFA, Says, "I'll Be Back!", 

Is Immediately Sued by the Terminator for Copyright 

Infringement

The Unexpurgated Bible #105

When Jesus was come down from the mountain, great 

multitudes followed him.  And, behold, there came a 

moviegoer wearing a Google Glass and accosted him, 

saying, "Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean."

And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, 

saying, "I will; be thou clean."  And immediately his 

Google Glass vanished out of his sight.

"But I created everything ex nihilo!" God exclaimed. 

"Sorry, still no copyright," the U.S. Copyright Office

reverentially replied.

If the Very Big Corporation had its way, it

 would copyright every word in the OED so 

that everyone would have to buy a license

 to speak or write the English language.

Paul Ryan says he would copyright his intellectual

property if he had any.

Member of Russian All-Female Punk Trio Says:

  "We Named Our Band 'Pussy Riot' Because

'Girls Gone Wild' Was Already Taken"

Jammie Thomas-Rasset, a single mom from
Minnesota, has been fined $1.92 million for
illegally sharing 24 tunes on the Internet.
When she told the RIAA, the plaintiff in the
case, "There's no way you're ever going to
get that. You can't get blood out of a turnip,"
the recording industry association agreed
to settle with the defendant if she either (1)
paid $1.99 per tune or (2) would become
the main ingredient in a Southern Turnip
Supreme casserole.

"If you are a teacher, administrator or student at an accredited

educational institution and certify that you will use our words

for educational purposes only, we will let you borrow them

for as little as 3¢ a word. Cash or credit, same low price."

New Mascot for the Associated Press

When you see the 'Ho' watermark in the lower right-hand

corner of the picture, you know you're viewing a genuine

image of Michelle Malkin, not a counterfeit.