"Ahead Warp Factor One!" commanded Captain Kirk.

CERN Discovers ‘Centrist Xi_b Baryon’, 

a New Subatomic Political Party

The research powerhouse CERN "has embarked on an

experiment aimed at addressing whether or not comic

rays from deep space might be seeding clouds in Earth's

atmosphere, thereby influencing humor change.

Republicans, as usual, are skeptical."

Using CERN's new Large Hadron Collider, particle 
physicists have determined that the smallest bit of
 matter is not, as previously thought, the Higgs 
Boson.  It's the McCain Moron.