Yes, it's true:  Mitt Romney blows

out the candles on his birthday 

cake one at a time.  That way

he gets to make more wishes

than a normal person does.

Fearguth's home air conditioner

 failed while he was traveling in

Colorado.  This poor candle

paid the price.

The Palestinian boy was on the verge of saying, 'Better to

light a candle than to curse the darkness', but he didn't

speak English, so he remained silent.

Lighting a candle is good, but cursing the

darkness is often more fun.

Here's How in Seven Easy Steps

1. Light four candles at nightfall and place

them north, south, east, and west.

2. Place a glass of water at the base of each candle.

3. Place some fingernail clippings in

a copper bowl and ignite.

4. Place the bowl in the center of the four candles,

thereby completing the pentagram of negative space.

5. Lay a solid line of moist earth in a complete circle

around the candles.

6. On the outside of that circle, lay another

circle of common salt.

7. Then begin the incantation: "Johnny Jump Up!

Johnny Jump Up! Johnny Jump Up!"

Contrary to what you may have heard on Fox & Friends,

working as a human candle stand does require more

brains than being President of the United States.

The Christian girl in Jordan could see that the candle

of Lebanese democracy was burning very low.