Aren't you glad you don't have to look at former
Attorney-General Michael Mukasey's face any
more? Seriously, when this guy was beaten
with an ugly stick, the stick sued him for
a miscarriage of justice.

Attorney General Collapses Under the Weight of

Bush Administration Lawlessness

"I'm surprised," says Attorney General Mukasey,

"by how surprised I am at how varied the threat

of terrorism is, how many directions it comes from,

how geographically spread out it is. Quite frankly,

I'm scared shitless!"

House Judiciary Committee Successfully Removes Attorney

General's Mask, Says "You're One Ugly Motherfucker!"

"The heinousness of torture, the cruelty of it, must be balanced

against the value of the information you might get. So, yes,

Senator, torture can be justified, even though it shocks the

conscience. The end justifies the means, you know."

Hairy Reed Profoundly Disturbed by Statements Judge Michael

Mukasey Made Concerning the Legality of the Use of Waterboarding

"Senator Schumer, a senior administration official says

President Bush's nickname for you is 'Ground Chuck'. Do

have any idea what that means?"

Man Waterboarded Outside Justice Department for

Demonstrating Against Mukasey Nomination

Chuck Schumer Struggles Courageously to Save

the Mukasey Nomination

The Senate Judiciary Committee has decided to waterboard

Michael Mukasey, the nominee for Attorney-General. The

rationale for this procedure is simple: if Mr. Mukasey doesn't

scream, beg for mercy, or admit he hates puppies, the Committee

will agree waterboarding is not torture and vote unanimously

to pass his nomination to the Senate floor.

"How much longer before you decide waterboarding

amounts to torture, Mr. Mukasey?"