Bird Reacts to Trump's Pardon of Scooter Libby

Remember when Patrick Fitzgerald pointed the
finger of justice at Scooter Libby? Can you
think of a better reason to remember
March 6, 2007?

Old Orangutan Still Undecided Whether
President Bush Should Have Followed
Vice President Cheney's Advice to
Pardon Scooter Libby

Dick Cheney Goes to the Mat with George Bush

Over Presidential Pardon for Scooter Libby

Because of a pulled back muscle and in a show of support

for his former chief of staff, Vice President Cheney will

attend today's historic inauguration aboard this stylish

and functional Senior Scooter.

President Clinton was condemned for pardoning Marc

Rich and President Bush is being condemned for not

pardoning Scooter Libby. Damned if you do, damned

if you don't: such is the unhappy lot of Presidents.

Santa was taking a well-deserved nap when

someone said, "Pardon Scooter Libby!"

The Wall Street Journal is recommending that President

Bush grant Scooter Libby a full pardon on the ground

that he always holds the door open for other people.

"Hey, Mr. Libby, have you had a chance to listen to

'No Cooler for the Scooter' yet?"

Irving Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been disbarred

from practicing law in the District of Columbia.

He is, however, still free to practice breaking

the law anytime and anywhere he wishes, so

long as George Bush is still in office.

Convicted Perjurer Drops Appeal; Says Commutation

of Sentence Not Enough, Wants Pardon and Medal

of Freedom

"Yes, I reluctantly concluded that the jury had reached

a reasonable verdict: the evidence was strong that Libby

testified falsely about his role in the leak. That's when

the President said, 'Say no more, Fred. Scooter skates

scot-free soon!'"

After spending only three weeks in the Bush Bubble Simulator,

Astronaut Brent Jett (1) spoke like Tony Snow, (2) ordered a

second invasion of Iraq, (3) appointed Scooter Libby to lead

the National Task Force on Mnemonic Devices, and (4)

believed Dick Cheney is the Vice President of the
United States.

“As to the future, I rule nothing in or nothing out.

I just RULE!"

District Attorney Arthur Branch Condemns Commutation of

Scooter Libby's Sentence; Strongly Criticizes Fred Thompson

for Praising President Bush's Decision

The Wall Street Journal's Dorothy Rabinowitz and her dog

Simon salivated profusely when the President announced his

decision to commute Scooter Libby's sentence.

President Bush Commutes Libby's Sentence;

Tells Rule of Law to "Get Fucked!"

"You need to speak to whom? 28301-016? Oh,

he's right here. Hold just a moment, and I'll

put him on."

"Scooter who?"

Of all the 150 'love letters' his friends sent to Judge Walton,

the one signed by Mary Matalin and James Carville brought

the biggest smile to Scooter's face.