Container Ship Surpasses Titanic as

World's Largest Metaphor

"Till the Spinner of the Years

Said "Now!" And each one hears,

And consummation comes, and jars two hemispheres."

Trump's Spirit Animals Abandoning Ship

"I can't say for sure, Captain, but it would appear that 

Hell has frozen over."

Captain on Allowing HMS Titanic Cruise Passengers to

 Disembark: ‘I’d rather have them stay on, personally.’

"Even if God can't sink the Titanic, maybe I can."

God Sends a Sign When Someone Says,

"God Himself Cannot Sink the Titanic"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #196

King of the World's Big Adventure

"But as the ice ripped that hole in the Titanic," said

Michele Bachmann, "water started being taken on,

and the engineer came out and brought the blueprint

 of the Titanic. Water came into the first chamber,

spilled over to the second, spilled over to the third,

and by the time it filled up so many chambers, it

was over. It was impossible to resurrect that ship."

[Scholars are still divided over whether the

Minnesota Republican was comparing the

Titanic to the United States or to Newt

Gingrich's run for the presidency.]

White House press secretary Tony Snow conceded Monday 

that conditions aboard the Titanic are "not getting better 

fast enough," but he insisted "the strategy for keeping it 

afloat is working."