World's Unluckiest Man Finds Pot of

Monkeypox at the End of the Rainbow

"A Malawi man was sentenced to life in prison 

with hard labor for murdering his albino brother

 in order to sell his body parts as good luck charms."

Of all the land animals, the Spider Shark is, luckily, 

one of the rarest.

The Unexpurgated Bible #151

And when he saw his people being blown to kingdom come

 by the hurricane, Trump said, "Good luck to everybody!"

"Dayum!  It must be Friday the 13th again!"

A Milwaukee woman claims she was fleeing from a vampire

when her SUV was swallowed by a sinkhole. "It just wasn't

my day," she says.

"W-H-E-E-L OF F-O-R-T-U-N-E!"

"I've got plenty of sins that I'm not going to share with anyone
else," says Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) . Let's hope our
luck doesn't run out before this paedomorph changes his
mind and starts sharing.

With luck, we may have seen the last of Mike Huckabee.