All 780 prints of Johnny Depp's Paint-by-Numbers

 Quartet sell for $3.6 million.

Weight Watchers Changes Name to 'Quatro Uves'

Super Bowl XLIX: Where Proles Go to Learn Their 

Roman Numerals

Slow Mo Brooks Counts to Two

He Does It Again!

Ever since the publication of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the

Galaxy, '42' has been accepted as the 'Ultimate Answer

to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and

Everything'.  Herman Cain, however, is now rejecting

 this answer, claiming the correct answer is '45'.

Number of the Beast? or

Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan?

"Do you have any idea, young lady, why it is always either

 'dozens' or 'scores' who are killed or injured in any given

disturbance or disaster?"

"I'm not sure, but to be on the safe side, I would avoid

hanging out in groups divisible by 12 or 20."

New Year's Day Said to Be Looking Forward

to 11.1.11 and 11.11.11

"To give you some idea of how big $1 trillion is,

at my current rate of $150,000 per speech, you

could pay me to give 6,666,666 speeches and

still have some money left over."

"One hundred! One thousand! One million! One billion!

One trillion! One quadrillion! What number comes

next? ¿Quién sabe?"