The Week Trump's Tanning Bed Was

Out of Service

"Well, Joe, at least you don't have to worry about

the tax on tanning salons the way Boehner does."

If you want to fool your friends into thinking you're
the outdoorsy type, like, say, Theodore Roosevelt,
use a tanning bed. Sarah Palin does, and she's already
dreaming of the day her bronzed visage appears up
there with the Bull Moose's on Mount Rushmore.

"The worst thing I can do is sell my soul to the devil,"

the Senator says. No, Senator, that's not the worst

thing you can do. The worst thing you can do is what

you've already done: sold your soul to the devil for the

price of Governor Palin's second-hand tanning bed.

House Minority Leader John Boehner says 3,780 dead American

soldiers is a 'small price' to pay to keep his tanning salon safe

from attack by Al-Qaeda.