Smokey Joe Barton to Retire; "Good Widdance to

Bad Wubbish!" Exclaimed Elmer Fudd

The reason Joe Barton took a picture of his pecker is

because he simply can't see it over his beer-barrel abs.

Joe Barton Sez: "While separated from my second wife, 

prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other 

mature adult women."

[Sorry, no full frontal nudity.  His nude face alone is

enough to scare the children.]

Spoiler Alert! Smokey Joe Barton (R-TX) Reveals 

the Plot of Repeal and Replace: the Movie

Joe Barton Sez: "Is it my fault my town halls will be held 

in Milford and Frost, two metropolises nobody's ever 

heard of?"

“I think the minimum wage law has outlived its 

usefulness and I would vote to repeal it.  I would 

also vote to send Tony Hayward, BP's former 

CEO, a 'Thank You Holiday Gift Basket'."

Congressman Joe Barton Sez:  "I don't want to 

answer that question. That's a clown question, bro."

Ask to see Texas Congressman Joe Barton's Dim Bulb

Club membership card and he'll gladly show it to you.

Congressman Barton wanted to play the 'Here's the Church'

finger game, but something told him his hands were out

of position.

Even Congressman Barton laughed when he told

the joke about how ExxonMobil would go out of

business without taxpayer subsidies.

Six Degrees of Aberration

Now that BP has dumped Tony Hayward,

is an apology from Joe Barton next?

"Well, Joe, at least you don't have to worry about

the tax on tanning salons the way Boehner does."

Blowout Preventer Fails, Barton's Republicans

Fall to Democrats, 13-5

"I do not use Brilliantine on my hair.

I use WD-40."

House GOP Retains Barton as Energy

Panel's Rankest Member

Congressman Barton's Lips Reportedly Sealed

with Krazy Glue by GOP Colleagues

As shown here, Joe Barton's seat on the Energy

Committee is both safe and sanitary.

"The B-I-B-L-E,

Yes, that's the Book for me;

I stand upon the Word of God

The B-I-B-L-E!"

According to Reihan Salam, Joe Barton comes "across as

a strangely gentle figure," sounding "more like a pastor

than like a politician, ruing man’s inhumanity to man."

[Shall we now sing a hymn or pass the collection plate?]