This looks like a job for iRobot® Roomba®!

Trump needs a hair rake---STAT!

Oklahoma Wildfires Blamed on Climate Change Hoax

Colorado Wildfires Caused by Climate Change Hoax of 

Inhofean Proportions

Are wildfires God's punishment for Rick Perry cutting the

budget for volunteer fire departments in Texas from $30

million to $7 million?  Ask Michele Bachmann.  Maybe

she has an answer said in jest.

Liar's 'Pants on Fire' Blamed for

Igniting Massive Arizona Blaze

FEMA Holds a Press Conference

"Hello, is this 911?"

"Yes."

"I would like to report a wildfire near Lake Tahoe."

"Not to worry. It's just a controlled burn."