Alan Keyes Shows Solidarity with Cliven Bundy by Wearing

Cowboy Hat

"Hi!  I'm Alan Keyes and, as you can tell from the look on

my face, I'm absolutely stark staring mad!  Isn't it amazing

how I'm still free to roam the streets of the United States

of America?"

The Day Alan Keyes Disproved He 

Had Hairy Palms

Just when you thought he had forgotten how to do 

stand-up, Alan Keyes had them rolling in the aisles 

when he warned that the Boy Scouts were going to 

start awarding merit badges for experimentation 

in gay sex.

"What's it going to be like, Professor Sowell, when, after 

you die, you discover that Heaven consists of Allen West, 

Alan Keyes, and yourself performing in The Everlasting 

Minstrel Show, attended only by old white people, like 

Pat Buchanan and Newt Gingrich?"

Kidnapping of Seymour the Donkey Kicks Alan the
Jackass Completely Out of Cable News Cycle---
Even on Fox

When SpikeMouth showed up in South Bend
alongside Alan Keyes and Randall Terry to
protest President Obama's appearance at
Notre Dame, the Trifecta of Intellective
Defloration was complete.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #16

Alan Keyes

The Unexpurgated Bible #3

Jesus said: "And I will give unto thee the Keyes of the kingdom

of heaven. Oops! Did I just say 'Keyes'? Dadgummit, I meant

to say 'Cleese'. Oh well, nobody's perfect!"

NBRA Annual Convention to Be Held in Alan Keyes' Kitchen

Following the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,

the Sign of the End Time appeared:

the Four Defilers of the Intelligence Quotient.