"They've given us the Prius. Even now,

Japanese refugees are recycling their

garbage. And yet, Gaia levels them!

Just wipes them out! Ha, ha, ha!

Wanna hear an even funnier

Diane Sawyer joke?"

Nation Elated at the Prospect of Charlie Gibson's

Retirement and the Opportunity to Not Watch

Diane Sawyer on World News Tonight

"In answer to your question, Diane, I decided to become

a cheap media whore like you only after I became as mad

as a monkey on a trike and was impeached by the Illinois

House of Representatives."

Huckleberry Finn Characters Announce Birth

of Their First Child, Tom Sawyer