Anders Maximus was so heterosexual he didn't

 like men to touch him. In fact, he didn't even like 

to touch himself.

Sign of the Times #75

Daryl Metcalfe doesn't like men, 

and there are days when he won't 

even touch himself.

“I’m gonna be honest with everybody.  I’m attracted 

to Mr. Maddow, and that really conflicts my, uh … 

I always thought of myself as a heterosexual, but …

OMG!  I feel my balls re-ascending the inguinal canal!”

Grover Norquist Backs the New Debt Deal, Promises to

Stop Talking Like an Effeminate Hetero

The Day Ken Buck Announced That He Had Chosen

to Be a Heterosexual

Black conservatives are wild and crazy guys. Think of

Armstrong Williams, Thomas Sowell, Shelby Steele,

Juan Williams, Clarence Thomas, Stephen Carter, Walter

Williams, Alan Keyes, and a handful of others. The list

isn't long, because, as American history makes clear,

conservatives didn't exactly free the slaves or release

African-Americans from the grasp of Jim Crow. But

now a Black conservative, Michael Steele, has become

the leader of the Southern White Wealthy Christian

Heterosexual Male Party. Yessir, wild and crazy is written

all over his face.

Someone needs to ask the Governor of Alaska, "Sarah, do

you remember the day when you chose to be a heterosexual?

And what arguments on that day did you find the most

persuasive in making your decision?"