"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to 

stand against the Wiles of the Devil." [Ephesians 6:11]

"If I were willing to surrender my seat as a Kentucky 

Senator, I would challenge Rachel Maddow to a duel

for all the asparagus she has cast on my character!"

“I’m gonna be honest with everybody.  I’m attracted 

to Mr. Maddow, and that really conflicts my, uh … 

I always thought of myself as a heterosexual, but …

OMG!  I feel my balls re-ascending the inguinal canal!”

Rachel Maddow Explaining How the 'Elite Media' Are
Lowbrow and the 'Media Elite' Are Highbrow, or

Vice Versa

"Relax, Senator Coburn, that call was from Rachel Maddow.

She just wanted to say, 'Hi!'"

"What does Rachel Maddow know about facts?  She doesn't

wear a ridiculous Rubik's Cube tie like me, does she? 

Need I say more?"

Having been asked by Rachel Maddow if 'Magnetorheological

 Dampers' were the key to his success at Fox News, Roger Ailes

 began to feel he was being slowly devoured by the Sarlacc 

that inhabits the Great Pit of Carkoon.

"Press 1 to hear Rachel Maddow

clean your clock, Press 2 . . ."

"Looks like Senator Lieberman is about to cry."

"Yeah, he just heard someone say, 'Rachel Maddow'."

"When did you start thinking that whacking sick puppies
with your cane is a mark of civility, Poppy?"

“Our women are hot. We have Michelle Malkin.
Who does the left have, Rachel Maddow? Sorry,
I prefer that my women not look like dudes and
my dudes not look like women.”

When Burson-Marsteller, Mark Penn's PR firm,

needs its image buffed, who do they call?

"At those times on the campaign trail when
sometimes it's easy to get a little bit discouraged,
 when, you know, when you happen to turn on

the Rachel Maddow Show when your cam-
paign staffers will let you turn on something
other than Fox News. Usually, they're like 'Oh
my gosh, don't watch. You're going to, you
know you're going to get depressed.'"

McCain Surrogate's Reaction When Asked

to Appear on the Rachel Maddow Show