"What do we humble supplicants have to do in order
to get a little royal purple dye around here?"

"One night at a slumber party with my homeboys,

I fell asleep while trying to make shadow animals.

When I awoke, I had become the leader of Hamas, but

I still couldn't make a shadow rabbit worth a damn."

Ismail Haniyeh Doing His Playboy Rabbit Shadow Show

"Touch not the Sacred Wingnut, Ismail, lest ye

unleash the Wrath of Malkin."

Ismail Haniyeh, the Palestinian Prime Minister,

could tell it was just a matter of time before

he would have to join the Hair Club for Men.

Hamas leader, Ismail Haniyeh,

became the first mid-diatribe

hold-up victim in Gaza City.