Why is it so easy to imagine Jamie Dimon as the 

protagonist in House of Cards?

Five Banks Plead Guilty to Criminal

Charges of Being Banks, Pay More

Than $5 Billion in Penalties

"Did I hear somebody say, 'federal bribery probe'?"

Ina Drew Sez:  "JPMorgan Chase's $6.2 billion trading

loss wasn't my fault; I was just the Chief Investment

Officer overseeing trading strategy."

[Speaking in the passive voice,

"Mistakes were made."]

JPMorgan Chase Cuts CEO Dimon's Pay in Half—to 

$11.5 Million; Bank's Flags Lowered to Half-Staff

Over the past year, JP Morgan Chase spent $2 million 

lobbying for the loophole that allowed it to lose $2 billion. 

Among banksters, this is called Return on Investment. 

Q:  What's the difference between Jamie Dimon,

Chairman of JP Morgan Chase, and a bookie?

A:  Jamie Dimon wears nicer suits.

"Hey, Jamie Dimon got over $20 million in compensation

last year and I only got $19 million.  That's not fair!"

Why do zombies always appear in public with their arms

extended and their palms parallel to the ground?

Jamie Dimon Delivers Furious Tirade Against 'Banker

Bashing' at World Economic Forum, Then Goes to His

Hotel Room and Pouts

He made millions playing silly games with other people's

money.  No wonder Jamie Dimon was smiling.

"Jamie, do you have any idea how long we are going

to have to wear The Azure Letter?"

Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, says

he's ready to punch the lights out of the next

person who vilifies corporate America. You've

been warned.