What to Take When You Start Feeling

a Little Bit Too Happy

Take the Red Pill to reveal an unpleasant truth. Take the 

Blue Pill to remain in blissful ignorance. Take the Black

 Pill to have Trump's albino lobster bailout explained.

In recognition of Black History Month, Trump is now

boasting he's the greatest Black Pill in American

history.

Take the Red Pill and you learn how deep the rabbit hole is. 

Take the Black Pill and you start referring to Nietzsche as

 'Fred'.

GOP Crazy Pill Abuse: Who Gets Addicted?

Take This Pill for the 10 Things You Need to Know Today

"The Newsweek cover shoots are so stressful

 and so intense, Michele carries and takes all

sorts of pills. Prevention pills. Pills during

the shoot. Pills after the shoot. Actually,

Michele has to take these pills wherever

she goes."

If faux outrage is your shtick, take one of these capsules

daily, preferably with a meal served cold.

"Don't talk to me about your 'pill burden'!"