Are you tired of Trumpniks calling you worn-out names, 

like 'Fascist' and 'Communist'?  Do you dream of the day

when they label you with new, original terms of opprobrium?

"Liar!  Irresponsible guttersnipe!  Far left zealot!  

Corrupt!  Far left magazine!  Smeared me!  Low

 circulation!  Bottom rung of journalism in America! 

Defamation!  Garbage!  Spit this stuff out on the net!  

Couldn't care less about the truth!  They are in 

the business to injure!  This is a political hit job!  

Corn must think the folks are as dumb as he is!  

The despicable Franken! Perhaps the biggest liar 

I have ever known! A dishonest smear merchant!  

Wouldn't retract your false story!  Whew!  Being 

an invectivore wears me to a frazzle!"

"Ron Paul, you're disgusting!"

"You should talk, Frothy!"

"If my Democratic colleagues in the House weren't

so arrogant, belligerent, dishonest, shameless, inept,

incompetent, hostile, petulant, and sophomoric, we

might get along just fine."

Although he never talks about the Master of Invective Arts

degree he received from Driftglass University, Stephen

Colbert never fails to put it to good use.

"Hey, kids, my repertoire of invective is almost exhausted.

Do you think you might run down to the corner drugstore

and pick up my refill?"

Only seven months into his first term as President
of the United States, Barack Obama's opponents
had already begun to experience an acute shortage
of new nasty names to call him. Demand for fresh
terms of opprobrium far exceeded the supply,
thus leaving his opponents with only one,
very unpopular option: Invective Rationing.

Over a span of three hours, Andrew Breitbart called
Ted Kennedy a 'villain', 'a big ass motherf@#$er',
a 'duplicitous bastard', a 'prick', and 'a special pile
of human excrement'. And that was while he was
still sober.

We're all such prisoners of the past that the ultimate insult we
can hurl at our opponents--whether on the left, in the center, or
on the right--is to accuse them of being Nazis wearing brown
shirts carrying flags emblazoned with swastikas. Is that the best
we can do? Is our imagination of evil that time-bound and
impoverished? Come on, my fellow Americans, we can do
better than that!

Dan Collins--of Protein Wisdom renown--has just learned he is the recipient of the Wicked Words of the Week Award for his invectivorous locutions relative to Dave Letterman's dissing of Sarah Palin and daughter, including "scum- sucking morons," "gutter-dwelling hobgoblins of putrescence," and "a 27th level nasty cocksucker priest of vicious filth." Congratulations, Dan!

Have you noticed that Ann Coulter has become as

scarce as hen's teeth? That new brand of invecticide

must really work.

Notorious Invectivore Spotted at Tennis Tourney

"Tigger-Lover!"

"Scum-Sucking Pig!"