"King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia modernized his

country's military, he was a lifetime ally of the

United States, he supported scholarly research, and

he was a man of remarkable character and courage.

Sure, he didn't give a good goddam about women's

rights and migrant workers' rights,  he had

peaceful protesters imprisoned and bloggers

 flogged, and he had people tortured and 

beheaded.  But, what the hell!  He sat on a  

shitpile of O-I-L, and that's what matters."

And then King Abdullah rode his Wahhabi horse off 

into the sunset.

'King Abdullah, Who Nudged Saudi Arabia Forward, 

Dies at 90 from Motion Sickness'

In order to fully normalize relations with Cuba, will Barack

Obama be required to hold hands with Fidel Castro?

President Obama Shakes Hands with BFF, the King of

Saudi Arabia, the Country That Executes Women for

Witchcraft and Sorcery

Breaking with the tradition established by his predecessor,
President Obama shook King Abdullah's hand and
squeezed his elbow. Both men seem relieved that all
the hand-holding and kissy-kissy stuff had been
omitted from the official greeting and photo op.

“Men kissing each other…it throws me off,”
said Joe the Plumber.

Down deep, the President wanted to pluck every hair

out of King Abdullah's chinny-chin-chin. But since

the Saudi Arabian potentate was sitting on one fifth

of the Earth's proven oil reserves, the President only

bared his teeth and smiled wickedly.

Will President Obama have to hold hands with King Abdullah?

"Give Daddy a little sugar!"

"Consumer Countries Have to Adapt to the Prices and the

Mechanisms of the Market," Says Mechanical Man

"This way for the gas, Mr. President."

"You kissed my dad on the lips. Why not me?"

The King and Queen of Saudi Anglia

Polish President Wows Saudi King
 with Robot Dance

"Since you don't speak Arabic and I don't speak Russian,

it's safe for me to say, 'May Allah's curse rend you in twain,

you smirking morphadite infidel!'"

"Did I understand you to say, King Abdullah, that having

thirty wives is what has kept your hair from turning gray?"

The proposed merger of Jordan and the Netherlands failed only

because King Abdullah and Queen Beatrix just couldn't get along.

"Honeybunch, I hear you have been bushing with Brother Dubai."

"Yeah, but you'll always be my main squeeze, sweetypie."