Kibongo had always socially distanced himself

from lawyers.

When he heard Trump say, "We'll do 

something, but not just yet," Kibongo

felt ill at ease.

Now that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead, is it safe 

for Kibongo to go outside and play?

As this BBC reporter will attest, being up to your ass

in alligators is scary, but being up to your eyelids in

lemurs is scarier.

"Me, paranoid?  You gotta be kidding!"

When the Ring-Tailed Lemur was asked, "Are you

an Objectivist?" all it did was stare in disbelief.

"So this is life, eh? And the alternative is

even worse, you say?"

"I got your back, Ma!"

Kibongo had just heard the United States government's

national threat level is Elevated, or Yellow. He was very

worried that terrorists might attack him before he had

a chance to vote for John McCain in November.

Things to Avoid #12

Lemur on a Leaf

When it heard the President's approval rating had fallen

to 28%, the baby lemur hugged its Snoopy doll even tighter.

The drag coefficient of a baby lemur is 2.1, which effectively

prevents the mother from making an unassisted takeoff.

In the world of lemurs, broccoli is a gateway drug

to the hard stuff.

There was something about the way the Fennec Fox could

stretch out into a 'I Really Don't Give a Shit' posture that

made the Long-Tailed Lemur very curious, if not a bit envious.