Blake Neff and Tucker Carlson,

His Sock Puppet

At the beginning of his career as a comedian, Don 

Knotts was a ventriloquist.  When he eventually grew 

"tired of playing straight man for a hunk of wood ... he 

tossed the dummy overboard off a ship in the South Pacific. 

He swore that he could hear the dummy calling for help as 

the ship sailed on, leaving him bobbing helplessly 

in the waves." (Wikipedia)

Q: "What's Charlie McCarthy doing in Vladimir Putin's lap?"

A: "Well, Putin pays better and gives this woodpecker's pinup 

boy better lines than Edgar Bergen ever did."

Putin's Dummy Arrives in Helsinki

Now Ranked as One of the Ten Creepiest Ventriloquist 

Dummies of All Time

State-Run Media Channel Russia 24 Scoops 

State-Run Media Channel Fox News

"Our first item of business here at Camp David is

what to do with Achmed the Dead Terrorist."

It all got started when Vladimir ordered one of those 

ventriloquist kits from the back of a comic book.

"I asked my dummy to leave the stadium if any players kneeled, 

disrespecting our country. I am proud of him."

Señor Wences and Trumpetomane Breaking Box Office

Records Worldwide

Dummy Shows Who's Boss

Steve Bannon's New Book!

"Mr. Trump, was it before or after you picked Mike as your 

dummy that you learned his hands were bigger than yours?" 

Before you laugh at the prospect of Bristol Palin starring in

Dancing on the Radio, just remember that the Edgar Bergen/

Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist act was very popular on the

radio back in the 1930s.

President Bush was pleased to see that

Senator McCain's voice was in synch

with his. "Those ventriloquism lessons

have really paid off," he thought.

As part of his preparation for the confirmation hearings,

General Michael Hayden will have cosmetic surgery on his

chin. A senior White House official, speaking on the condition

of anonymity, says the General's current chin makes him look

too much like a ventriloquist's dummy.

Without moving his lips, the ventriloquist thought:

"What a dummy!"

At the same time, the dummy said:

"This gringo is such a remolino del pellejo."