From the Chronicle of the Great Cola War

Soccer can be a bruising sport.

"Soccer is a matter of life and death, except more important."

                                                       

                                                                     ---Bill Shankly

The Loneliness of the Web-Enabled Crown Prince

Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Ban 'Only a Flesh Wound'

Sepp Blatter Banned by FIFA, Says, "I'll Be Back!", 

Is Immediately Sued by the Terminator for Copyright 

Infringement

It was the last time he would ask Marco Rubio to throw 

him the ball.

Very Reverend Sepp Blatter, Canon of the 

FIFA Brotherhood

Sepp Blatter Reacts to News That 14 of His FIFA 

Colleagues Have Been Arrested on Corruption Charges

Realizing his last name was a 'challenge', Jeb Bush 

decided to change it to Blaszczykowski.

Dutch Pundit Reacts to Rubio/Paul Feud

Warm Scuzzies #506

Hannah Strong

Soccer-Loving Elk Show Solidarity with 

Occupy Ann Coulter Protesters

Luis Suarez Takes Time Out for an Afternoon Snack

Ann Coulter Transfixed by Fútbol, Sign of

the Nation's Moral Decay

Warm Scuzzies #473

Nomad World Pub

He had been warned about the consequences of

Soccer Overdose, but he had just scoffed.

David Beckham Retiring

(But Still Not Shy)

American Schutzstaffel #11

Beckham Leaving Galaxy