How Ivanka Will Pay the Bills After Her Televised

 Appearance Before the January 6 Committee

 “How do you reverse the effects of falling testosterone?”

Tucker Carlson wants to know.

Have you seen Tucker Carlson's side project?

Ladies' Home Companion

Who knew, before the COVID-19 epidemic idled millions,

that vibrator repair would be such a lucrative business?

First, It Was Goya Black Beans

If Jared Kushner Were a Sex Toy

Tomi Lahren wants everyone to know her

Steely Dan is black, semi-automatic, and

close to home.

Former Oregon Bird Sanctuary Renamed

 'National Dildo Refuge'

University of Texas Students

to Protest Concealed Carry

of Firearms on Campus with

Open Carry of Dildos

What's Hot in the New Generation

 of Feminine Sex Toys? The Zoidberg!

Michele Bachmann's Close Encounter of 

the Vibrator Kind Narrowly Averted;

Christian Group Intercepts 'Female

Pleasure Machine' at the 11th Hour

What House Republicans Will Be Wearing

 on '37th Obamacare Repeal Vote Day'

If Rush Limbaugh Were a Sex Toy

Poll Finds D.C. Elites Tepid to Tea Parties,

Warmer to Brown Bag Parties

O'Donnell Wins, Dildo Stocks Plummet

"In the immortal words of Kristopher Sickles,

'Scar my tattered body no more with your

punishing dildo mallet!'"

'Green' vibrators, like the hand-cranked Earth Angel
(shown here), promise sustainable pleasure and are
reportedly very popular at the environmental summit
now underway in Copenhagen.

Steely Dann

Blank Slate #2

Top Stories for July 12, 2007

"Am I Raising Eco-Snobs?"

"What We Learned at the Bartender Convention"

"Do Kids Need a Summer Vacation?"

"The Case of the Diamond Dildo"

"Anti-Climax"