Mark Foley Pondering New Run for Public Office

on 'I Invented Sexting' Platform

"Steele Seeks to 'Turn the Page' for Republican Party,"
the headline reads. Isn't this what Mark Foley was
doing that cost him his seat in Congress?

Asked why he began an affair with Patricia Allen while he was

campaigning against Mark Foley in 2006, Representative Tim

Mahoney (D-FL) said he was suffering from gender anxiety and

needed a way to bolster his hetero cred.

As he closed the door on the Mark Foley investigation,

Republican Representative Doc Hastings, the outgoing

chairman of the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct,

remarked, "Good golly, somebody must have neglected to

write a rule against negligence."

While stoutly denying a House Ethics Committee

coverup of the Foley affair, Doc Hastings' body

language gave the game away.

In the aftermath of Masturgate and with the mid-term

elections just a month away, it's important for Republicans

to maintain party discipline, whatever it takes.

Mark Foley Before Rehab

Mark Foley After Rehab

The Three Warning Signs of Impending Disaster

You may have wondered who the guy was

who outed one of the victims of Mark Foley.

His name is William 'Wild Bill' Kerr, he blogs

at Passionate America, and this is what he

looks like. Send him some mail.

"Hey, Mark, gimme some skin! I hear you are gay,

a sexual predator, an alcoholic, mentally ill, and

a savvy Internet user. You really should consider

becoming the poster boy for 'Big Tent Republicanism'."

Psychiatrists have had to invent a new term

to describe unconsummated pedophilia. They

call it 'pedofoleya'.

GOP Chefs Preparing Sacrificial Lamb as Atonement

for the Transgressions of Mark Foley

After the Great Foley Washout, the road to

victory for the Republican Party in November

has become much more problematic.

Have you seen the new Mark Foley Biodiesel Catheter?

On the heels of the Mark Foley scandal, Dennis Hastert

became the first Nonspeaker of the House in U.S. history.

In January, 2006, Tom Reynolds, National Republican

Congressional Committee Chairman, (1) promised that

the GOP would retain its House majority after November,

(2) issued a full-throated endorsement of Bob Ney, and

(3) expressed effusively his confidence in Tom Delay's

re-election chances. He said nothing, however, about

his own re-election prospects--or Mark Foley's--because

that would have been a no-brainer.

Tom Reynolds, George Bush, and Dennis Hastert

roared with laughter when Mark Foley showed

up wearing a Page Boy Hat.

"Where should I dump this dead Foley cock?"

House Majority Leader John Boehner Showing How Long a

Member of Congress Has to Be Before It Passes the 'Mark

Foley Overly-Friendly Test'