The Juice Is Loose

Juice on the Loose

Donald Trump and Tiger Woods were disappointed when

O. J. Simpson didn't show up at Mar-a-Lago to make

it a threesome on the green.

George Zimmerman Pulled Over for Speeding in Texas;

DPS Officer Finds O. J. Simpson's Bloody Glove in

Gun Compartment

"Somebody up there doesn't like me."

As he felt the cuffs tighten around his wrists, what troubled
O. J. the most was that the Law of Karma could obviously not
be broken and that he might have to someday share a prison
cell with that shoddy imitation of the Pillsbury Doughboy,

Karl Rove.

For an instant, O. J. thought he heard the voice of Howard

Cosell. But then he remembered that his co-host on Monday

Night Football had been dead since 1995, the same year he

had been cast in the starring role of the infamous 'Trial of

the Century'.

All those years of running through airports

had finally caught up with the Juice.

Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied, Except in O. J.'s Case

Unimpressed by his Charles Atlas impersonation, the jury

found O. J. guilty on twelve counts of armed robbery

and kidnapping.

Although the Juice hadn't carried the ball for almost thirty years,

he was still hearing footsteps.

Was it a noose tightening around O. J.'s neck,

or was it just his imagination?

O. J. Simpson, a Profile in Villainy

"I'm probably one of the four or five best known Americans in

the world. I'm right up there with Jack Bauer, Tony Soprano,

and O. J. Simpson."

"My next project will be called 'Rupert and Me'."