"You may be wondering why I'm not wearing my Che Guevara

t-shirt today.  Well, there's a simple explanation.  Bill Ayers,

Jeremiah Wright, and I got together and decided we wanted

to pull the wool over Andrew Breitbart's eyes twenty years 

from now."

New Poll Shows Rush Limbaugh Less Popular Than

William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Proctologists

Barack Obama to Distance Himself from William Ayers

by Moving to Washington, D.C.

Ayers, Farrakhan Vote at Same Polling Location as
Michelle and Barack Obama; Republican Epidemiologists
Predict a Major Outbreak of Cooties-by-Association

"I hope you'll understand my rationale, Senator Obama,

when I unleash my guilt-by-association attacks on you.

You do live on the same planet as Jeremiah Wright,

Bill Ayers, and Louis Farrakhan, do you not?"

"Very frankly, John doesn't give a damn about an old

unrepentant terrorist like William Ayers. But he does give

a damn about an old unrepentant felon like G. Gordon Liddy."

Senator McCain's effort to link Barack Obama to the Killer

Rabbit of Caerbannog turned out to be something of a

disappointment.

"And that's why I believe William Ayers is 
Christopher Buckley's real father, not 
William F. Buckley, Jr., the founder of 
National Review."

"You think Bill Ayers is 'unrepentant'? Don't make me aarrff!

After I stopped chasing cars--for which, by the way, I don't regret

a moment--I went on to become the official Best Friend of the

Butthole Surfers. Repentance? That word is not in my vocabulary."

"Did you hear the stock market fell 678 points today? That's the

good news. The bad news is that Bill Ayers contributed $200

to Barack Obama's campaign for re-election to the Illinois

State Senate in 2001."