An Exercise in Ski-Mask Profiling

Are these (a) convenience-store robbers, (b) downhill skiers,

(c) slashers with large knives auditioning for a part in a

horror movie, (d) Mujahidin Council Members from

Indonesia who want to kill Israelis, or (e) cold-natured

guys trying to keep their heads warm?

Keep in mind your life and their liberty

may depend on your answer.

The price of GlaxoSmithKline stock fell sharply today 

on news that researchers have determined when Beano is 

added to cattle feed, it has little effect on reducing bovine 

flatulence, a significant cause of global warming.

When you join the South Korean Marines,

expect to get your feet wet.

President Bush came unstuck in time and found himself

back in February 2006, speaking about the Advanced

Energy Initiative. "Does anybody here remember what I'm

talking about, because I sure don't?"

Paula Malcomson was overcome with emotion when

she learned that Emmy had been modeled after a

television engineer's wife.

It was a slow day at Katherine Harris World.

Tank Farm in Southern Lebanon

Tiger Woods denies that mind control had anything to do

with his victory at this year's PGA Championship.

As he scanned the windswept steppe of Mongolia,
the soldier was sure Genghis Khan would soon be 
brought to justice.

Colorful Hungarian Anti-Aircraft Battery Scores Its First Hit

Amazingly, the Four Klutzmen had won the canoe race.

These Nepalese are protesting the high price of

petroleum. Fortunately, matches and rubber are

still relatively cheap in Kathmandu.

The little rascal always enjoyed the meetings of the

He-Man Woman Haters Club.

IIs Angel Sanctuary only a cartoon? Just ask this fan.

Andrew Strauss suddenly realized the bowler's

delivery just wasn't cricket.

Shadow Tennis

Snakes On a Plain

What had started out as a week-long float trip through

the Grand Canyon ended up as a peacekeeping mission

in Lebanon. Obviously, somebody needed to improve

his map-reading skills.

"Next week here on the Misery Loves Company Radio Network,

our story will be titled, 'A Man's House Is His Castle'.

When Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza was named Miss Universe,

the only objection came from some critic who believes

in two, parallel universes.