Helpful Road Sign for Aging Schoolhouse Rock Fans

Trump Withdraws from Paris Accord, 

Blames Erectile Dysfunction

Judging from the way he embraces his wife these days,

Governor Perry not only is not running for re-election

in 2014, but also is not gunning for re-erection in 2013.

It was a 'deer in the headlights' moment when Senator

McConnell learned that bad gums had been linked to

erectile dysfunction.

In the olden days, they called it 'Sexual Impotence'. In

more modern times, they called it 'Erectile Dysfunction'.

Now that Mick Jagger is almost 67 years old, they call it

'Stones in Exile.'

Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole is recuperating

at Walter Reed Army Medical Center after suffering an

erection that lasted more than four hours, his spokesman

said Monday.

Cialis had given the House Minority Leader two dosing

options. All of a sudden, he realized he had chosen the

wrong one.

"Nutrient in Watermelon Yields Viagra-Like Results,"

Texas Scientists Report

"If you experience a sudden decrease or loss of vision and hearing,

stop taking Cialis, and call a doctor right away. We know it'll be

difficult to find the phone when you can't see and impossible to

follow your doctor's advice when you can't hear, but dems da

breaks, ya horny bastid!"

If you take Cialis and get an erection that lasts more than 4 hours,

get medical help right away. Your doctor will probably tell you to stare

at this portrait of Maureen Dowd. So far, it has worked every time.