Katie Hopkins Spat Out of Twitter Like a 

Watermelon Seed

Like a watermelon, socialism is red on the inside

 and green on the outside. Pretty scary!

If they want to consume Mayor Pete like a 'hearty stew', 

Democrats would probably also like to spit Tucker 

Carlson out of the Universe like a watermelon seed.

And you thought Pumpkinhead

was scary!

Moments after he said, "Hillary Clinton should be put 

in the firing line and shot for treason,” Al Baldasaro 

was spat out of the Universe like a watermelon seed.

"By my watch, Michelle, we only have to wait 53 more days

 to see Joe Lieberman spat out of the U. S. Senate like a

watermelon seed."

Not until after his second heart attack was it revealed to

Gallagher that he didn't really hate watermelons:  he just 

hated people who hated fruits with thick rinds and

fleshy centers.

Gallagher's face had been ravaged by years of 

Sledge-O-Matic abuse.

Melons in the Summer, Pumpkins in the Fall

Have you ever heard a watermelon scream?

Listen!

The resignation of a California mayor just goes to show, one

more time, that some people can tell watermelon jokes,

some can't.

Fearguth's Rules of Order #17

It is considered to be the height of rudeness to use the

expression, "I don't give a rat's ass!" if one happens to be

eating a slice of watermelon nearby.

"Nutrient in Watermelon Yields Viagra-Like Results,"

Texas Scientists Report

Did you know that one of the most effective laxatives you can

give a constipated rat is watermelon juice?

For decades, Godfrey Cambridge, Herbie Hancock, and

Mongo Santamaria had been on the trail of the elusive

Watermelon Man. Now, it seems, they have finally

found him.

Sure, the city lay in ruins. But the watermelons

were unscathed and it was time to party.

Nietszche was right: perspective is everything.

What first appears to be too many peas in a pod

is actually a boatload of watermelons.