Former French President Chirac Hospitalized

after Mauling by His Clinically-Depressed Poodle

"If he's Sarko the Giant," Jacques reflected, "I must be

the Colossus of Chirac."

In retirement, Jacques Chirac has more time to look pensive.

Jacques Chirac graciously kissed Condi Rice's hand,

not knowing

the drastic effect it would have on her.

"Would you happen to have an extra Blow Pop? I seem

to have run out."

Jacques Chirac has always liked M&Ms because

they melt in his mouth, not in his hand.

Prime Minister Prodi was delighted to see that 
President Chirac had never heard the old joke
 about the secret ingredient Emperor Heliogabalus 
added to the Caesar Salad.

France's Jacques Chirac and Italy's Romano Prodi have

developed a communication technique whereby both

speak simultaneously, neither listens to the other, yet they

agree 99% of the time. It has something to do with Latin.

Foreign relations between France and Germany

have never been more romantic.

The cow didn't approve of the way President Chirac

was feeling her up.

OK, OK, so Jacques Chirac is fond of French Poodles.

What did you expect--a German Shepherd, a Scottish

Terrier, an English Sheepdog, an Australian Stumpy

Tail Cattle Dog? Get serious! The prime minister of

the nation that gave us the french fry is a patriot, if

little else.

As the President of France spoke at the ceremony

commemorating the 700,000 casualties caused at

the Battle of Verdun, do you suppose he saw that

all the finials on the flagstaffs were spearheads?