Do mummies dream of dehydrated water?

Im-Ho-Tep Casual Footwear, Popular During

the 3rd Dynasty of the Old Kingdom 

At 82, Wilbur Ross is frequently mistaken for an

 unwrapped mummy.

Imhotep Makes His Move

Will Reverse Ageism hurt Bernie Sanders's chances in

 the race for the Democratic presidential nomination?

Adventures in Aestheticism #67

The Secret Ingredient in Wilbur Ross's Recipe for

Self-Mummification

"Believe it or not, my favorite band is Here Come the

Mummies."

"Trump's 3% annual GDP growth rate is certainly 

not achievable during the XXVIIth Dynasty."

"Your résumé, Mr. Ross, indicates that you once served

as stunt double in Mel Brooks' The 2000 Year Old Man.

Was that before or after The Mummy's Tomb?"

Jan Brewer Sez:  "Trump is getting waterboarded and

I'm being mummified."

"But I only had a papercut, doctor."

Tana-Leaf withdrawal symptoms are

easy to spot.

"But if I pull your finger, Jan, it might break

off and crumble into dust."

(h/t Montag)

"Admit it, Barack!  I'm the best mummy, by far,

since Boris Karloff played Imhotep in 1932!"

"What's that?"

"That's the husk of Tom DeLay, all that was left after his

lawyers sucked him dry trying to keep him out of jail."

"As the mummy of Queen Tiye, King Tutankhamun's

grandmother, clearly shows, using a sunscreen with an

SPF rating of less than 30+ is a waste of time and money."

"OK, mate, I confess!  It was I who stole the forbidden

Tana leaves."

The Mummy Sez:  "Quite frankly, I prefer

the fictions which fit into my Immortality

Ideology rather than the facts which don't."

Those who are enthusing over possible Michele

Bachmann or Donald Trump presidencies are

 reminiscent of those ancient Egyptians who

 believed that "the spirit of a mummified dog

could transport prayers into the afterlife,

where they were heard by the canine-

headed god Anubis."